“‘It’s not my fault, and I don’t care anyway’. Say it with me!”
Patrick Spencer (Alan Thicke) is a self-help guru, and a very rich and successful one at that, advocating a philosophy of “Me First” selfishness which, in the Twitter/Selfie age, would no doubt go down a storm. His daughter Diana (relative newcomer Leah Doz) is a recovering drug addict presently receiving treatment in therapy for sex addiction. Brian Calhoun (Quinton Aaron, best known as “Big” Mike Oher from the Oscar-winning The Blind Side) – also known as “Giant Man” – is a heroin addict, indebted to local dealer Johnny “Three-Fingers” Abedayo (former track and field star Jesse Lipscombe). When Johnny enlists Giant Man and the rest of his crew to “boost” Diana (i.e. kidnap her and hold her for a sizeable ransom), will Patrick pay ten million dollars to retrieve his daughter safe and sound, or will he take the opportunity to add gravitas his “It’s not my fault, and I don’t care anyway” credo by holding fast to its values? Can Giant Man stand by to watch Diana suffer? And how will Diana feel if daddy doesn’t pony up the readies?
Alan Thicke
It’s Not My Fault And I Don’t Care Anyway is written/directed by Chris Craddock, based on his own one-man play Public Speaking. It’s also one of the last films to feature the late Alan Thicke, best known for his role as patriarch Dr. Jason Seaver in the sitcom Growing Pains – one of the most watched shows in America in the late eighties – and also of course as the father of Robin Thicke of Blurred Lines fame. Mr. Thicke collapsed and died in December last year whilst playing hockey with his son Carter (who also appears in a brief cameo).
Let’s get the gripes out of the way first: This movie has a tendency to struggle in finding its tone. An early scene in which a sex addict describes a gang of bikers coming all over her is followed briskly by another in which a principal character’s father is knifed to death. It’s Not My Fault And I Don’t Care Anyway presents as a comedy/drama, yes, but it’s really mostly a drama which occasionally flings out a guffaw or two. It doesn’t straddle that line particularly elegantly, and it’s not helped in this regard by that clunky title either, which all but screams “BRITISH FARCE!”. I mean, there are certainly farcical elements within the plot, but it sells the picture a little short to present it as such.
Look past this, however, and the movie’s issues with comedic timing are more than offset by an intriguing story told in episodic flashback, and some fine performances indeed; from Alan Thicke, from Leah Doz, from Jesse Lipscombe and particularly from the incredibly likeable Quinton Aaron. I initially found him to be a strange casting choice as a heroin addict; I have a limited experience of heroin addicts and all of the addicts I know fit the gaunt, hollow-eyed stereotype, and upon first seeing that Brian was being played by the 6’8″, 450lb Mr. Aaron, I literally had to Google “Are heroin addicts always skinny” in order to find that, no, of course they’re not.
It’s Not My Fault And I Don’t Care Anyway is a flawed piece, but persistence will reward the viewer with a movie which hits its targets more often than it misses. It’s a quirky little crime drama, and it’s well worth a look.
It’s Not My Fault And I Don’t Care Anyway is released March 14th.
One of the main differences between a tale, a fable or even a metaphor, and a movie is that none of the former need to be believable and coherent for, at least, 90 minutes. Whereas all the narrations within the first category work because of their simplicity and effectiveness at making a point, the latter is part of another kind of storytelling; and therefore, different rules apply.
The Olive Tree works as a nice tale; something you can tell your children or young brothers and sisters; an idea you can toy with for a while and smile at its senseless romanticism. However, it’s remarkably difficult to apply the Suspension of disbelief for an hour and a half when you are following a young girl going to Germany to pick up a tree and bring it back to her grandfather who has remained mute ever since it was cut from his ancestor’s yard; regardless how ferociously lovely is the girl or how funnily sweet are her travel companions.
The Olive Tree
The Olive Tree follows Alma (Anna Castillo), her uncle Alcachofa (Javier Gutiérrez) and her friend, boyfriend in the making, Rafa (Pep Ambrós) as they embark on a crazy mission from Valencia to Dusseldorf to get back what became the beginning of the end of the family unit once it was taken away from them: grandpa’s millenary olive tree, now the symbol of a shady environmental German company. The mission is doomed from the beginning and right when miraculously some nice German activists have decided to join the Spaniards side and Alma jumps on the tree as she used to when she was a toothless kid, Alcachofa gets the fateful call the audience was kind of waiting for: grandpa’s passed away.
The three amigos make their way back to the Peninsula with sad faces but undefeated: for Alma is carrying a tiny branch of the olive tree which she will plant exactly where it belongs. As Alcachofa points out as they come back: “luckily we brought the truck, no?”
Alma plants the tree and as screenwriting canon requires, the reconciliation of the family pays off.
Now, as much as the actors deliver good performances (they really do an admiring job making the best out of their roles), as much as we would like to believe this beautiful movie, as much as I can’t help finding it difficult to criticize it (being from the same place, physical and spiritually, this bunch of characters are) and as much as we like Paul Laverty as a screenwriter, the truth is that this movie doesn’t quite work story wise. Just like Alma’s character (as lovely as stubborn), it doesn’t go further than a nice premise, a romantic tale or an interesting metaphor. To see Javier Gutiérrez perform is always a pleasure but, honestly, it’s quite difficult to watch a girl from Valencia going to Dusseldorf to pick up a tree and believe it; for 90 minutes.
The X-men series has definitely had its ups and downs hasn’t it? I actually really admire it, of all superhero cinematic universes it is easily the most diverse of them all. Not one film in this series feels like the other. The only problem there is that some of them are great, and others really suck. I think no X-men chapter demonstrates that better than the Wolverine trilogy. X-men Origins: Wolverine was a truly awful film; calling it bad would be like saying Jack the Ripper wasn’t a nice guy. Everything in that film failed, with the possible exception of Hugh Jackman and Levi Schreiber’s performances. The Wolverine, on the other hand, was a good, fun, solid depiction of the Wolverine character with an interesting story that did sadly fall apart at the end, but was a good film none-the-less. And now we have our final chapter, and Jackman’s final outing as Wolverine in Logan. And true to form, this one was even better than the last.
The story: Logan (aka Wolverine) is one of only three mutants remaining in this part of the world. He is a broken man, caring for Charles Xavier (Professor X) with help from Caliban, both of who are just as broken as he is. Then a girl, Laura comes into their lives. She has the exact same powers as Logan, from the metal skeleton to the incredible healing. But she is being chased by some people, people with sinister motives. The gang are on the run and Logan must learn to care again or all is lost for the group. This basically all translates to this being a character study. No big world ending villain, no mutant trying to destroy the X-men, no big battles of varying levels of CGI; just characters being characters and the adventure at hand.
I guess I’d better address the elephant in the room. After the release of Deadpool last year Logan was granted the adult rating; R rated in the USA, 15 here in the UK. So yes, the violence has been ramped up. The thing is, Deadpool was tame with its violence; I always figured that it was only 15 because of the swearing and sex really. Logan is definitely 15 for violence! That bit in the trailer, where the guy gets stabbed in the head by Logan? Yeah, that’s far from being the worst part. Limbs are severed, heads are chopped off, heads are stabbed, holes are made in people, a guy blows up at one point, and there is plenty of slicing and dicing from our lead man and girl. It’s very violent and very graphic; which just makes the action more sweet, shocking and satisfying. It is also there to accompany the story, which it does excellently. This is a darker story, with darker characters, darker humour and deeper themes. So, I do think that the violence was completely necessary for Logan.
All the actors did what is easily the best performances in the whole series so far. Patrick Stewart as Xavier is a heart-breaking role; he has dementia, which causes more problems than you can imagine with his mind-control abilities. He is a man who wants to hope again, but fear that he will not, so when the chance for happiness comes along he jumps at it. Stephen Merchant as Caliban was a surprisingly good choice and his character did add a lot to the film. He’s not a bumbling idiot like Merchant usually plays, he’s a charming, hopeless character who still has a big heart, despite all that happens to him. Our villains are played by the amazing Richard E Grant and up-coming talent Boyd Holbrook. Grant could play a great Satan one day with the way he portrays his character; a puppet master with great charisma, and more dangerously ambition to boot. Holbrook plays more of the henchmen type villain, but he’s so deliciously devious, charismatic and passionate for the evil stuff he does that it’s honestly hard not to love-to-hate the guy. And finally there is Dafne Keen as Laura, or X-23. I thought the kid in A Monster Calls was great, and he is but Keen might very well have surpassed him. There is nothing wrong with her performance, from silence, to speech, to curious and calm, to wild and doing insane choreography; this girl was one of the most impressive performances of this year, and I include adults in that! It’s rare you can say such a thing, but there is no other actress who could do better than her in this role. She easily outshines the other kids of the film, who are not that good sadly. But they’re not the focus, she is.
Returning to the director’s chair is James Mangold, director of The Wolverine and Copland. It’s clear that Mangold had a vision for this film, and he was thankfully allowed to bring that vision to life. Logan looks and sounds amazing. The filming reminded me of those thrillers from the ‘70’s; Death Wish, Mad Max, Hang ‘Em High, Dirty Harry, The Gauntlet, that kind of classic film making. Not one image displays only one thing, ever shot contains everything that it needs to convey the story in a visual way. The graveyard bit from the trailer, which is very early on in the film, tells you everything you need to know about Logan as a character. The music is sombre and kept in the background, to the point where you don’t really consciously notice it but you feel it adding to the scene anyway. And, unlike The Wolverine, the tone is constant and it never falls into generic comic-book territory. The pacing is slow, not boring just slow, but it makes the action when it happens all the more exciting. But what really sold me on Logan, is that what it does well (and better than any other comic-book film I’ve seen since The Crow) is emotion. The film has sad moments, angry moments, exciting moments, tense moments and happy moments; each and every single moment is carried in you. You feel what the film shows, and that is what you need in a film like this.
Logan
And let us end on Hugh Jackman himself. This is his last film as Logan; I’ll believe that when I see it. But let’s say that it is his last go at it. Well this is as perfect as send off as can be imagined. This is Jackman’s best performance as Logan and one of the best he has ever given. Never before have we seen Logan like this, and Jackman takes us on the ride of a lifetime with it. He is the only actor I can ever see as Wolverine, and now he has certainly perfected it. The violence did help a lot with finally showing us Wolverine’s animal side, and his true rage; not just, you know, screaming a lot. There is also some very interesting “what if” scenarios with Logan and Xavier. What if Logan got old? What if Logan was too ill to heal? What if Charles got dementia? What if Logan was to be a father figure? What if Logan was in a 15 rated grown-up action film? Well now we know all of them, and they are all glorious results.
Logan is easily the Dark Knight of the X-men series, and is just as easily the best superhero film I’ve seen in 5 years. I’ll admit, my hopes were high for this one; of all the 13 or so superhero films coming this year (and isn’t that a depressing number) this was one of only 2 I was looking forward to. And it exceeded my expectations. I loved this film, and it has been a long while since I’ve been really able to say that about a superhero film. Go and see Logan when you can, that’s my advice. Unless you are a child, then don’t because this film is not for you.
In 1973 an exploratory expedition in the south Pacific encounters a mysterious island shrouded in turbulent storms. Upon arrival, the scientists discover a jungle paradise filled with deadly creatures, gigantic beasts and the king of them all, Kong!
Since 1933, the legend of King Kong has graced the silver screen numerous times. From the classic stylings of the original to the maligned 1976 version and Peter Jackson’s bloated 2005 effort, while the gargantuan ape is one of cinema’s most memorable icons, even the most celebrated of filmmakers have struggled to do Kong any justice. Legendary Picture’s 2014 Godzilla flick paved the way for what will be a shared universe in the mould of the Toho movies of the 60s. Luckily we’ve moved beyond watching stunt men in monster costumes, tearing through cardboard cityscapes, and Gareth Edwards’ creature feature proved that the modern audience is ready for these towering terrors to digitally duke it out.
The first thing that struck me with Jordan Vogt-Roberts’ film was the gorgeous visual aesthetic. From the very first encounter with Kong, to his hulking silhouette across a setting sun, the sense of scale is immense. A hairy titan in the luscious greenery of the titular Skull Island, he poses an imposing form and leaves a lasting impression. From his initial reaction to the military presence onward he his portrayed as the lone protector and king of all he surveys.
While both Tom Hiddleston and Brie Larson act as the primary protagonists, their characters are resoundingly vanilla. It is the supporting cast (for the most part) who add a much-needed dynamism to their interactions. John Goodman, Corey Hawkins, Shea Whigham, Thomas Mann seemingly know the kind of popcorn fodder they’re involved in and we as the audience are most definitely along for the ride.
And what a ride. It’s safe to say, Kong: Skull Island has shaken 2017’s blockbuster season to life with a mighty roar. The audio design, cacophonous score and killer 70s soundtrack set the tone in a thunderous fashion. Not as po-faced as 2014’s Godzilla, there’s definitely more of a sense of “fun” and wide-eyed adventure. It’s extremely silly in places and humorously gory in others, which breaks up the action set pieces. One minute you might by marvelling at weird creatures, the next, wincing as characters get viciously beaten, burned, eaten and plucked apart by the island’s ferocious wildlife. It’s gleefully destructive and makes no bones about revelling in the spectacle of it all.
After the trailers had failed to pin down the tone of the movie, I was surprised at how much I became emotionally invested in the crackpot character played by John C. Reilly. There’s a little more too his jester-like affectations and the contrast between he and Samuel L. Jackson’s Ahab’esque Lieutenant Colonel is an engaging one.
Overall, I enjoyed Kong: Skull Island for the sheer, dumb fun of it. The screenplay isn’t going to win any awards but this is most certainly an unabashed B-movie with an A-movie budget. If you’re interested in seeing how the Legendary Pictures franchises converge, stay till after the credits for a not-so-subtle set up for 2020’s Godzilla Vs Kong which will hit our screens a year after Godzilla: King of the Monsters in 2019.
“Widow Ruth is seven months pregnant when, believing herself to be guided by her unborn baby, she embarks on a homicidal rampage, dispatching anyone who stands in her way.”
Since the moment I heard about this film I have been dying to see it, and Alice Lowe’s baby has exceeded all of my expectations. Lowe’s dark humour could be seen in 2012’s Sightseers, which she co-wrote with director Ben Wheatley. As you might expect following on from that, Prevenge contains plenty of filth and blood (not for the faint of heart). However, the audience enjoys many more belly-laughs than I witnessed during Sightseers, perhaps due to Lowe’s penchant for silliness. Lowe is the master of deadpan humour and plays it to full effect in this gory slasher flick.
An impressive debut, Prevenge is one of the best examples of british comedy in recent years and ought to be held in high esteem alongside the likes of Shaun of the Dead (2004). Prevenge is original and innovative in a way that could only come from a woman’s perspective – Lowe wrote and directed it during her own pregnancy. Filming at 7 months brings an air of realism that only adds to the horror. A prosthetic pregnant belly would certainly have diminished this.
Alice Lowe is a force of nature. On top of Prevenge being a comedy romp, it is also a deeply poignant examination of grief. Prevenge contains so many layers, at once menacing, hilarious and heartbreaking. It picks up on the mundane, ridiculous lives we live, and takes existential pauses that might not hit home the first time round. Its substance will lend itself to repeat viewings.
Scored by Toydrum (former UNKLE band members) the soundtrack is a thing of beauty in itself. It accompanies many dreamy sequences following Ruth in her urban wanderings. It has a foreboding 80s synth feel, similar to that of the Stranger Things soundtrack, coupled with a jangly post-gig tinnitus sound – not dissimilar to Beach House.
Prevenge is a masterpiece, so let’s hope it’s the first of many features with Lowe in the director’s chair.
