Callum Has Ranked The Star Wars Films

Star Wars


After forcing our way through two truly terrible films, this was our reward. The Clone Wars are reaching their close. Obi-Wan must hunt down General Grievous, who’s death shall end the war and Anakin is forced by the Jedi to spy on the clearly corrupt Supreme Chancellor, Palpatine. But Anakin starts having dreams, the premonition of his wife, Padme’s death in child birth. When Palpatine reveals himself to have been a Sith lord all along, he makes Anakin an offer to save Padme. In doing so, he successfully seduces young Skywalker to the Dark Side. For most people this is the good one. This is the prequel film that everyone waited for. The darker film that ties into the original trilogy.

I must completely disagree! Outside of a few key moments I think that this film is not only was bad as the other two. In places I think it’s even worse. I have never understood why this film gets a pass. George Lucas had clearly forgotten how to make a film – he was given full control and was left unchallenged with every decision made. It’s hard to hate the man – as bad as his later films were, he still gave the world Star Wars and Indiana Jones. But his mistakes in this trilogy are unforgivable.

The acting in this film is the worst it has ever been. Ewan McGregor, who was at least trying before, has all but given up on saving this performance. Portman’s scenes are basically her crying most of the time. Christensen is still as wooden as ever. The only performance I enjoy in the whole film is Ian McDiarmid as Palpatine. Even at his silliest moments he is just a blast to watch. He has a clear motive, kill the Jedi and build an empire, and is clearly relishing how evil he is being. He’s a saving grace for the film.

Amazingly, the effects are even worse this time around. Look at the clone troopers, there are scenes where the actor’s head is placed over a CGI body and it’s garish to look at. It’s kind of ugly to look at too. General Grievous is the only new design that feels fresh and cool. The writing is on par with a Tommy Wiseau script, thanks to lines like ‘You’re breaking my heart’ and the infamous ‘No!’ scene. But worst of all is how this one contradicts the original trilogy. Darth Vader is all but ruined by this film, with his instant change from rebel with a heart to child murderer. The clones make the empire seem small now. The Jedi Council was shown as out of touch with the world, as opposed to a peace keeping group of knights. They even had Padme die in child birth when Leia clearly said that she knew her mother as a child in Return of the Jedi.

At times I do consider this to be the worst of the films. But then I remember moments like the opera house scene. Palpatine’s weird and often hilarious expressions. The fact that this feels shorter than the other prequel films. General Grievous’ awesome design. The visual references to the original trilogy. And most of all, the opening twenty minutes. I hesitate to call those minutes good, but they are an entertaining blast to watch. It’s safe to say that I am not a fan of the direction Lucas took these prequel films, but at least this one had some laughs and enjoyable scenes.

Callum spends most free days with friends (mostly watching films, to be honest), caring for his dog, writing, more writing and watching films whenever he can find the chance (which is very often).



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