Blood Widow – Review

29th May 2014

When Hugh and Laurie (Danielle Lilley & Brandon Kyle Peters) move into their new, isolated holiday home, they do what comes naturally; throw a party with their nearest and dearest. In a neighbouring, seemingly abandoned boarding school, however, something dark and murderous has been disturbed; The Blood Widow (Gabrielle Ann Henry).

I don’t know how else to begin other than to say I really didn’t like this. I don’t dislike it because it’s low-budget, I’m quite a big fan of films like Roman and even schlockier fare like Cradle of Fear. The problem here is that it is fundamentally indecisive, creating a huge problem with it’s tone.

It’s too serious to be fun, but too silly to be scary. It has no idea what to do with itself; is it a bit of fun like the Friday the 13^th films or is it trying to be deathly serious like The Devil’s Rejects? The ridiculous kills tell you one and the cinematography another.

Don’t get me wrong, the cinematography is actually quite good, but it’s grey tone is at a mismatch for the more ludicrous moments that are on offer. Am I supposed to enjoy the disembowelments and decapitations or are they supposed to be horrifying? This really killed it for me and I feel really sorry for the special effects team who’s great efforts, that could have been put to use for a really fun slasher, were wasted.

Even the eponymous Blood Widow has problems. While there is a flare to her design, we are supposed to be emotionally involved in her back story, engulfed in the mystery and the reasons that she kills. Unfortunately, there is just absolutely no reason to do so. This is a film that expects the audience to come along for the ride without putting in the effort to make that investment worth while.

If you take this serious identity crisis and smack in an underwhelming score, 2-dimensional characters and 0% investment material of any kind, it all makes for an utterly dull viewing experience. Had it either been really scary or really fun the smaller issues wouldn’t have been so blatant, but as it stands this is bottom of the bargain-bin slasher fare to be avoided.

Blood Widow is out on DVD in the USA June 3^rd

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