Will kids still have to go to school?

Sorry to report, school will continue as normal. When we say ‘as normal’, school kids will have to attend, but lessons might be a little different. For example, the headmaster, due to all the stress of Brexit chaos, might not be his usual self. He’ll look the same, and sound more or less the same, but there’s a good chance he has become completely unhinged, worrying as he is that Brexit will lead to the cancellation of a parent-teacher night booked for early June.