Escape To Victory (1981)
In a twisted alternate reality where Pele, Bobby Moore and Ossie Ardiles are incarcerated in a WWII POW camp alongside Michael Caine and Sylvester Stallone it seems entirely natural that the camp commandant (Max von Sydow, obviously) would encourage a POW vs German soldiers football match, no? Directed by the mighty John Huston, this mad-as-jam football/WWII mash-up is utter, utter nonsense but incredibly hard to dislike. In a film full of shark jumping moments however, none is more barmy than the decision the team make to get rid of their perfectly serviceable goalkeeper and put Sylvester Stallone in his place despite no discernible prior experience of the Beautiful Game. How, you ask? Well, they stamp on the goalkeeper’s arm to break it, just so good old Sly can try to escape along with the rest of the team after the match.
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