Non-Christmassy Christmas Films

8th December 2013

By Callum Mount.

It’s that time of year again. Time to dust off those classics that sit on our shelves to be only played for 2 or 3 weeks out of every year. It’s Christmas film time! But what about getting that warm fuzzy Christmas fix the rest of the year? What if it’s Christmas every day in your warm, fuzzy heart? Or maybe, you want to warm up for your big Christmas viewings and don’t feel you can quite justify digging out The Grinch just yet? Or maybe, just maybe, you just don’t really care for anything to do with a fat, magical philanthropist who presumably suffers from diabetes.

Well, look no further! Within this list I hope that I can offer you at least 1 not-directly-related-to-Christmas-but-still-kind-of-festive film that can either get you in the spirit or help you avoid the season.

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)

Wes Anderson’s sophisticated yet naïve atmosphere in his films is the perfect compliment to that third glass of merlot and mince pie burp. Warm and emotional, but with a coldness of it’s world weary lead, The Life Aquatic is a feast of a film. From the incredible dissected Belafonte to Coraline director Henry Selick’s hypnotic stop-motion, Seu Jorge’s Portuguese Bowie covers to the most heart wrenching use of the Zombies “The Way I Feel Inside”, Anderson’s seamless blending of new and old makes for a magical cinematic experience.

Anderson makes films unlike anyone else today. You can see a freeze frame from any of his films and immediately know that it’s his.

I feel obliged to point out that this choice is interchangeable for any of Anderson’s films, all of which maintain a fantastic balance of emotion and dead pan humour, but I decided to choose The Life Aquatic because it’s my favourite. It has a lot to say about what it means to be a family, about coming together in spite of everything to the benefit of everyone. It’s about leaving your selfishness behind and finding the light at the end of whatever your tunnel may be, and while all these ideas are also heavily featured in The Royal Tannenbaum, The Life Aquatic has Bill Murray dancing in a speedo. Enough said.

Meet The Feebles (1989)

Taking a behind-the-scenes look at the titular Muppets-esque show, Meet The Feebles does for Jim Henson what Team America: World Police did for Gerry Anderson. It keeps all of things that make the source inspiration while adding its own demented and grotesque twist. Besides, the Sodomy song can hold its own against the AID’s song for pure comedic value.

The third of Peter Jackson’s unofficial trilogy of his first films alongside Braindead (a.k.a. Dead Alive) and Bad Taste, Meet The Feebles turns Jackson’s early, warped attention onto show business…but with puppets. As such, he gets away with absolute murder, and we should love him for it. Gloriously vile, wondrously disgusting and triumphantly childish, it’s the perfect antidote to the saccharine cheeriness of Christmas, while remaining light-hearted enough to be justified at this time of year.

Whether you’re interested in seeing a junkie, knife throwing Vietnam vet or a sexually promiscuous Hare with some serious VD (and lets be honest, why wouldn’t you be?) you should seek this out. It will make for one hell of a double feature with The Muppets.

Where The Wild Things Are (2009)

With the film adaptation of Maurice Sednak’s book, a favourite of so many childhoods, Spike Jonze does the seemingly impossible. He extends it to a feature film length while retaining it’s warmth and imagination. He doesn’t invite us to go to the land of the Wild Things, he drags us there, and we jauntily comply. There is no “that’s so unbelievable”. We are with Max on this journey, not merely outsiders looking in, and with the imagination of a child’s eyes, anything from here is possible.

The key to the film’s success is that it takes Max’s point of view. It doesn’t patronise Max and belittle his point of view, it embraces them. In doing so, it embraces the entirety of the audience, making what could have been just another kids film into a film of incredible intimacy to be enjoyed by anyone and everyone.

In the leading performance of young Max Records, Jonze has found the perfect avatar for the inarticulable rage, confusion and above all heart of our collective adolescence. Where The Wild Things Are does what every great Christmas film should do and fills you with the wonder of your childhood in JCB loads, let alone spades. It will have you asking yourself an important question at this time of year; “Will you keep out the sadness?”.

Police Story (1985)

The film that made Jackie Chan uninsurable in Hong Kong as well the film that made me reassess Frank Spencer as a possible action star. Whether a misanthrope or mistletoe…er (I’m trying my hardest, I swear!) Chan’s Hong Kong 80’s classic will have you asking yourself “Did that just happen? Like…really happen?”

Unlike a lot of the action films of today, featuring incredible CGI scenes of mayhem and destruction, it’s so great to be able to go back and say “That is what a true action film is”. An amazing sense of humour perfectly blended with heart stopping action, this film displays everything that makes Chan’s films special. While other films like Project A and Wheels on Meals are just as worth seeking out, it is in this gripping story of one honest cops mission to beat the mob that Chan shines brightest as Actor, Director and Action Choreographer.

Is there anything that better touches your inner child than watching several cars driving down hill through a shanty town or a man hang off of a moving bus by an umbrella, all in the first 15 minutes? Tis the season. Tis the fucking season.

Fight Club (1999)

This fable of cynicism and masculine identity in the modern age is the perfect antidote to the season as it’s presented to us. As Tyler says of society, we’re consumers, and no more is this true than at Christmas. What better way to stick two fingers up at the monetisation of the season than to watch a film about the liberation of turning your back on everything capitalism has done to society, especially to our idea of who we are. This is played out with ice cool wit and charm. Anti-family, anti-capitalism and anti-social, this is the perfect choice for the Scrooge in you any time of year.

If the classic, clean cut Christmas music you’ll be hearing everywhere very soon will be beautifully undermined by The Dust Brothers dirty, grungy score. If the site of a Christmas tree leaves you wanting, you’ll find solace in David Fincher’s grey basements, rotten houses and Bob’s bitch tits. If the tinsel and sparkle of the season makes you feel like destroying something beautiful, just slide this modern classic and enjoy. Or don’t. Or if you’re really looking for a shot of nihilism, you can take my friend Churchy’s advice and just watch Scum. Actually…just watch Scum. You grumpy space monkey.

Any major cock-ups? Feel I’ve missed a film or perhaps the point altogether? Leave a comment and let us know.

Facebook

Google

Twitter

We hope you're enjoying BRWC. You should check us out on our social channels, subscribe to our newsletter, and tell your friends. BRWC is short for battleroyalewithcheese.