Just Because I Can… Sandra Bullock on Muppets Tonight, A Thesis

12th August 2010

As I’m sure most of you know, Muppets Tonight was a short lived, highly intellectual show, that aired on ABC from 1996 to 1998. This show probed the vast psychological depths of it’s various high profile guest stars and provided intense social commentary on the news and times of the day, and the future.

The high point of the series was the appearance of noted thespian, auteur, social psychologist and future Academy Award winner, Sandra Bullock.

On this particular installment the lovely and talented Ms. Bullock waxed poetic about the stagnate political climate of the mid-nineties. She detailed ground breaking studies, she was personally over seeing, in regards to Women’s rights and feminine sexual revolution. Ms. Bullock, or as she is more commonly known, Professor Bullock, PHD, DDS, OBGYN, even showed extensive research she’d been doing on cures for cancer, AIDS and the common cold.

Sandra was on fire! A true wonder woman. This is when I fell in love with her as an actress. She proved to me that she was not just a pretty face, with good comedic timing, and the star of The Net. She had a brain and a soul! Not only that, Ms. Bullock inspired me to become a better human with her appearance on this landmark program!

In the years since her appearance on Muppets Tonight I think Ms. Bullock as proven she’s not just a woman of words, but action too. Remember, during the promotional blitz for Speed 2: Cruise Control, when she single handedly prevented the attempted assassination of President Clinton? Or, during the making of Practical Magic when she scraped skin cells from Nicole Kidman’s nose (second version) and cured blindness? What about the legendary military coup she spear headed during the editing of Hope Floats, when she freed the nation of Kreblahkistan from debilitating tyranny?

Of course everyone remembers Ms. Bullock’s record three term run as the first female President of the United States; Her milestone, one woman, Broadway rendition of Super Mario Bros. The Movie: The Stage Experience; And, her opening of the first No-Gravity Birth Research Station in the upper Exosphere.

But what of the small accomplishments?

She filled the inkwell for the pen that wrote the Declaration of Independence! She single handedly raised and cultivated national treasure Bo Derek from an embryo state, to the star of Bolero! She invented the Creepy Crawlers oven! She pioneered the cutting and dying of one’s genitals into pink hearts!

What can’t she do?

Of course, there were the low points. Her directorial debut, the Anna Nicole Smith feature Skyscraper. Starring in Murder By Numbers and of course, being Phil Spector’s murder trial wig selector. But dammit! Sandra Bullock is a fighter! She is perseverance incarnate!

And where did it all begin? Her appearance on Muppets Tonight.

Track down the episode if you can. It will change your life.

You can view my full 9,240 Page Report on Ms. Bullock and the Impact of her appearance on Muppets Tonight HERE

Thank you for your time.

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