In the cinema, everyone can hear you scream. And with the upcoming release of Ridley Scott’s Alien Covenant, I am looking forward to that once again. So, have a guess what films I’ve be watching lately. The Alien franchise is among my favourite film series, ever. And considering how much I love this series, I thought it’d be a good idea to rank them. From the absolute worst, to the ultimate best. Sounds good to me.

But then that got me thinking, I am going to rank them all. So, I would have to include those Alien Vs Predator films as well. And if that’s the case, why not the Predator films too? Besides, the two are now linked by film, game and comic. I figured that it’d be rude not to include the Predator films in the ranking too. That makes ten of them all in all. So here we have it, the top ten (I suppose) of the Alien/Predator series…

10/ AVP:R ALIENS VS PREDATOR: REQUIEM. 2007. DIRECTED BY THE BROTHERS STRAUSE.

Sadly, as much as I do love this collection of films, here is where we must start. Not only is it the worst Alien and Predator film (by a longshot I’ll add), it is easily one of the worst films I have ever seen! The story follows directly from the previous film. An alien/predator hybrid has made its way to a small town in Colorado and starts breeding aliens there. When a lone (yes lone) predator comes to sort the mess out, a group of teens get caught right in the middle of the action.

Yep, this is just a slasher film. The characters are one-dimensional. The story only serves to make a body count. As do the character motivations. The effects are awful, easily the worst of the series. I have never seen an alien look so much like a man in a suit before. The predator does admittedly look better, but even he has looked better in other Predator movies. The hybrid monster looks terrible! Or at least it does when you see it. Which, thinking about it, I’m not entirely certain you ever do. Oh, it’s on screen. But the lighting is so dark that you can barely see the silhouette. So, yeah, the film is technically incompetent too. Cut out the horrendous writing and acting (a big ask I know), the film is horribly edited and shot. Even the audio mixing is noticeably awful.

But the final nail in this pile of nails that was once a coffin is the films bad taste. It is way too gory and unpleasant to be enjoyable, even in that B-movie way. I like the odd slasher, but they’re normally over-the-top and played either for scares or (more often) laughs. Here, we have a man finding his friends skinned corpse. An alien graphically bursting from the chest of a 7-year-old. And arguably the most disgusting moment I’ve ever seen on screen; the hybrid raping women on a maternity ward and killing the babies. I understand that every film has its place and its fans. But for this one, I don’t get it.