Seven-foot meat monsters, flying mustaches, arranged arachnicide, parallel universes, countless floppy jokes and a literal door-knob. Confused yet? That’s exactly how I felt after watching John Dies At The End.

Arranging this film into any sort of coherence is nearing on impossible mostly because the film itself is a mish-mash of varying techniques and ideas that provides the watcher with an empty yet amusing journey of vague symbolism and flappy violence. Imagine Alien, Zombieland and twelve doses of mescaline and you might have an accurate depiction of the opening scene. The rest of the movie makes less sense.

The premise of the film was taken from comedy horror novel of the same title, which in itself proved a hard act to follow, due to the surreal and fluctuating world that author David Wong, or as he goes by ulterior ego Jason Pargin, creates in his writing. The narrative has been described as a goulash of Stephen King, H.P. Lovecraft and the drug induced ramblings of William S. Burroughs, creating a world where reality is bashed on the head, turned upside down and thrown into a spinning universe of confusion and ferocity. Director Don Coscarelli, responsible for other horror delights including Phantasm and Bubba Ho-Tep, perhaps the ideal candidate for the challenge, struggled when trying to convert such a dynamic novel. In an interview, Coscarelli even stated, “that was a battle I was always fighting from the minute I started – how is this going to translate?”

To attempt a synopsis, the story follows David Wong (Chase Williamson) narrating to a journalist, played wonderfully by Oscar nominee Paul Giamatti, his life changing experiences with a drug nicknamed “soy sauce.” Latter to taking the narcotic Wong and his friend John Cheese (Rob Mayes), experience inconceivable psychic powers leading to an unlikely end of the world scenario which surprisingly didn’t become my main concern throughout the film. I was too busy invariably trying to figure out the mini-epiphany I had every time I thought the story might be reaching a conclusion with a bold and symbolic statement, only to be smashed by amusingly distracting, b-movie violence, although I wasn’t complaining.  Taken with a pinch of salt, the shoddy CGI and brazen monster constructions did wonders for the playful nature of this movie’s horror and Wong’s and Cheese’s paranoid and undeniably hilarious interactions, particularly the “hot-dog mobile phone” skit, are a welcome addition to the overall outcome of the movie.

It’s true that Coscarelli does touch upon some momentous and meaningful topics in between the scenes of baffling nonsense and paranoid, drug fuelled monologues. One of those being the reason actor and assistant producer Giamatti was so adamant on making the novel a motion picture. For him, it was the passage in which the bearer of the “soy sauce,” Rastafarian Robert (Bob) Marley, cultivates the notion of how we as humans prove psychic powers in our dreams, being able to sense an event seconds before it happens. This may sound as confused as David Wong’s character, but it’s clear as glass when you watch it, although like so many of the fleetingly profound moments, the idea could be missed by the blink of a bloodshot eye or get lost amidst the turbulent, mutable picture Coscarelli paints.

When the film premiered at last years Sundance festival it received varied criticism, although one thing was clear in that these mixed messages left the words “future cult classic” on many critic’s tongues. I think the only downfall here is viewers taking the experience too seriously. Coscarelli has tried so desperately to hurtle us into Wong’s messed up paradigm and yet make it his own and I think at an attempt he has done well. The important thing is to not forget the tongue, or in this case hole-in-cheek nature of the movie. Aside from this, for horror lovers and critics alike the supposedly modest budget, 80s gore, cheap sci-fi references and gregarious script may have done Coscarelli a favour, with critic Rob Nelson describing it as, “a thoroughly unpredictable horror-comedy – and an immensely entertaining one too.” It’s a journey and a laugh that’s best not to over analyse.

Now all that’s left is the big question, does John die at the end? Well, that’s for me to sit back smugly in the knowledge of and for you to find out. Enjoy.

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