film reviews, interviews, features | BRWC

Author: BRWC

  • I Just Fucked With The Wrong Mexican, And I LOVED It… A Review Of Robert Rodriguez’s ‘Machete’

    I Just Fucked With The Wrong Mexican, And I LOVED It… A Review Of Robert Rodriguez’s ‘Machete’

    I was one of the eleven people who saw the Quentin Tarantino/Robert Rodriguez homage to B Movies Extravaganza ‘Grindhouse‘ on opening day. I LOVED Rodriguez’s half of the experiment (Planet Terror) and loathed Tarantino’s (Death Proof.) In the middle of the two films, however, were the best bits. Several fake trailers, in similar over the top, blood stained, gritty good old fashioned ridiculousness: Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving, Edgar Wright’s Don’t, Rob Zombie’s Werewolf Women of the SS and lastly, the one everyone was talking about afterwards (and the one to be made into a film first), Robert Rodriguez’s Machete.Machete the film, much like the trailer, is a series of over the top, giggle inducing, hyper-violent set pieces, strung together at a brisk pace by a convoluted, overly melodramatic plot.

    There is a crazed, redneck, illegal immigrant hating Senator (Robert DeNiro ACTUALLY seeming to have fun for a change) and his insidious, power mad aide (the brilliant Jeff Fahey.) There is a sociopathic drug lord with a penchant for decapitating his enemies (a surprisingly amazing Steven Seagal.) A rather good, but underused Lindsay Lohan dressed as a gun-toting nun. Cheech Marin, stealing scenes as always, as a deadly, foul mouthed priest. And the incomparably awe inspiring (yet also underused) Don Johnson as a sly, cigar chomping vigilante, just to name a few of the interesting faces and characters that move the whole film along.

    All that should be incentive enough to make you want to see the film. But really, in the end, if you’re a fan of old school, Charles Bronson style, over the top 70’s revenge/action flicks, Machete is for you. It’s a gloriously tongue in cheek exercise in B-Film entertainment. It has enough blood letting, boobs and bad assery for 10 Movies and it flies along at such a brisk clip you wont even care that it all doesn’t make a lick of sense.

    Throw your pretensions out the door, pony up the dough and go see Machete right now if you want to have a good time at the movies. Period.

    10 out of 10 “Introducing Don Johnson” Credits

  • BRWC is 2: Halloween, Every Film

    BRWC is 2: Halloween, Every Film

    My fourth and final BRWC 2nd Anniversary Post, and it’s a big one! Every Halloween Film, parts 1-10 Dissected. (I’ll get to the Friday The 13th and Nightmare On Elm Street series eventually too.)

    The 1960’s and 70’s began a revolution of film that would change cinema forever, in many good and bad ways. This change particularly happened in the world of Horror. Beginning with Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho in 1960, the boundaries of Horror films began to expand and differ from past efforts. Previously Horror films were almost entirely castle bound or set within the world of the supernatural in some way. All vampires, werewolves and monsters, unreal things that could scare on screen but not come after you in real life.

    With Psycho, you got a good looking, if odd, “boy next door” type, that could also viciously murder you. Psycho was inspired by the true case of Ed Gein and fairly grounded in reality, and it scared the living hell out of everyone. In Psycho’s wake came a spate of cheap knock offs, most notably, William Castle’s Strait-Jacket. Then in 1963 came Mario Bava’s Blood and Black Lace, which took the “vicious murders in real life” theme and brought it to life in full technicolor, birthing the Italian “Giallo” Genre in the process. This Genre being something of what would later become the “Slasher” Genre mixed with the traditional “Whodunit?”

    The same year came Herschel Gordon Lewis’ Blood Feast, this film being very much the first “Splatter” film, emphasizing violence and gore over plot. Shortly after Blood Feast came Herschel Gordon Lewis’ other splatter epics Two Thousand Maniacs! and Color Me Blood Red, each of which were eaten up by the drive in crowd, and proved to others that bloody, realistic horror was the way to go.

    In the late Sixties came a series of classier, but still realistic and violent films that also thrilled audiences and polarized critics and moralists. There was Dario Argento’s Directorial debut The Bird with Crystal Plumage,  10 Rillington Place (based on Brit serial killer John Christie), and Mario Bava’s ultra violent spectacle Bay of Blood. In particular Bay of Blood is considered the true father of the modern slasher film, and it brings us closer to where we need to be.

    Between 1973 and 1976 the new era of Horror reached it’s apex with the release of genre classics The Exorcist, Black Christmas (the first Holiday Slasher), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Jaws, Deep Red, Carrie and The Omen. Then came the film that both began and ended a period, Halloween. This film would go on to become a landmark genre film, the most successful independent film of all time for nearly twenty years and the death nail of the new era of horror.

    Halloween (1978)-
    Directed By John Carpenter
    Starring Donald Pleasence and Jamie Lee Curtis

    Yep, this is the one that started it all. The best slasher film their is. The one that if not created, certainly included and solidified the “rules” of the genre. And the progenitor of the “Slasher Wave of the 80’s” that all but killed Horror until it was face lifted in the mid-nineties by Scream.

    How can one little film do all that you might ask? Well, third time director John Carpenter took $320,000, one name star and a bunch of no-bodies and cranked out a critically acclaimed masterpiece of suspense that grossed hundreds and thousands times more than it’s production costs. That’s how.

    The plot is simple, On Halloween Night a babysitter and her friends are terrorized by a silent, masked man (escaped mental patient Michael Myers); It’s execution where John Carpenter and company got it right.

    Carpenter and frequent collaborator, Cinematographer Dean Cundey, drench the film and it’s “average suburban” setting in dark atmosphere and shadowy menace. In flowing point of view shots we are taken behind the eyes of the killer as he stalks and kills. And then through lighting, pacing and iconic score an intense mood of overwhelming dread is crafted on top of the atmosphere.

    Helpful in making the film work, is the cast. Mostly consisting of unknowns, including lead Jamie Lee Curtis (at the time), the young stars and starlets give the film an even deeper sense of reality. Plus almost all of the characters are made instantly likable. They seem like people you know and could be friends with. The one name star in the cast, Donald Pleasence, is equally good (if entertainingly over the top) as the half crazed Doctor Loomis in pursuit of Myers.

    In a nutshell the film’s greatest strengths are it’s simplicity, it’s minimalist style and it’s believability. Halloween’s great strength’s are also what led to the downfall of the new age of horror…

    Halloween II (1981)-
    Directed By Rick Rosenthal
    Starring Donald Pleasence and Jamie Lee Curtis

    Immediately after the intense success of Halloween, studios went into over drive trying to create the next slasher juggernaut. The first was When A Stranger Calls, in 1979. A solid and stylish Halloween clone, that has since become a genre classic due mostly to it’s intense opening and closing segments. The next was Friday the 13th in 1980 (which I will dive into later.) Then quickly came Prom Night, Terror Train and Friday the 13th Part II (among others.) Not to be outdone, the owners of Halloween decided to jump on the sequel bandwagon before the presumed well ran dry…

    Thus came Halloween II “More of the night HE came home!”

    Original director/writer John Carpenter wanted little to do with the project, as he wished to move onto more ambitious things. But he and his producing/writing partner of the time Debra Hill were coaxed back to do the script at least. Directing duties were handed over to newcomer Rick Rosenthal. Who, attempted to replicate the look of the original film at least, by working closely with original cinematographer Dean Cundey. Carpenter also came back with his iconic score. (Carpenter was also brought back in after production to punch up the death scenes with some added gore, when the fairly restrained film was deemed too tame to compete with Friday the 13th and it’s like.)

    While the film is almost entirely an extended stalk and slash sequence, set within the confines of a Hospital (world’s most darkly lit hospital at that) I find the movie quite enjoyable, especially when viewed back to back with the original. As one extended film the one two punch of Halloween and Halloween 2 is an excellent experience in horror.

    On it’s own though, Halloween II isn’t that great. The film looks lovely, it’s well acted again and the death scenes are good. But it’s as shallow as a saucer plot wise and there just isn’t that spark found present in the original. It’s a fairly classy production, but it feels like what it is, a cash in.

    Halloween III: Season of the Witch-
    Directed By Tommy Lee Wallace
    Starring Tom Atkins and Dan O’Herlihy

    Halloween II made a lot of money, but it was savaged by critics, so the creative team behind the Halloween series decided to go in a different direction with Part 3. (Can you imagine a time period when producers actually CARED about making a classy, original horror film? Jesus.)

    It was John Carpenter, Debra Hill and Tommy Lee Wallace’s (production designer of the first two films) intent to make a new Halloween film each year, based on different myths and characters. If Season of the Witch succeeded… of course. Naturally, Season of the Witch (very much NOT a typical slasher film) failed miserably with audiences and critics.

    Was it deserved though? In my opinion, no.

    The film is a conspiracy thriller set around the discovery of Halloween Masks that, when activated by a cutesy television commercial, shoot laser beams into your skull and turn your head into a mass of nasty icky stuff.

    That aspect alone is enough to hold a fist high in support of it’s originality (and send most people running from it.)

    Overall, I think the film is a stylish, low budget exercise. The plot is intriguing and suspenseful (if a tad silly.) And it features some genuinely good performances and special effects. It’s not AMAZING though and despite my liking the second one more, Part III is arguably a better film than it’s predecessor by a large margin. It’s purposefully dark and nihilistic ending ranks as a high point in the Halloween series for me and one that could never be made today. (I think perhaps Season of the Witch would have fared better had it not had the Halloween pedigree attached to it.)

    Never the less, no one else liked it (and still very few do) so the Halloween series faded into the background for 6 years, seemingly as dead as Michael Myers.

    Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)-
    Directed By Dwight H. Little
    Starring Donald Pleasence and Danielle Harris

    By 1988 the slasher film had pretty much been killed by the Friday the 13th series and all it’s knock offs (Elm Street had something to do with it too, but they are a different kind of film altogether) so it seemed unlikely that a Halloween Part 4 would do well or be any good. Turns out it did and it was.

    Halloween 4 is generally considered a return to form for the series and is considered by most to be the best latter period sequel, or at the very least worthy to be in the same class as Part 1 and 2. And, I tend to agree with the general consensus of Halloween 4’s quality.

    The film is essentially a remake of the original plot wise. A group of kids are stalked by a silent, seemingly unstoppable, masked man (Michael Myers), who just escaped from a Hospital and is being pursued himself by his unhinged doctor.

    However, unlike part II, who didn’t really match the spirit of the original in terms of characters and writing, Halloween 4 gave us likable characters again and a fairly tight, suspenseful story. Stylistically the film is very similar to the first two, if not having quite as much visual flourish. Alan Howarth takes over score duties amiably and returns Carpenter’s iconic theme. The extended near finale/mid section of the film, set inside the Sheriff’s house is a grand tour-de-force of low budget suspense, and a great surprise for a film made during the dying days of the slasher genre.

    The Return of Michael Myers is a great film on it’s own merits too and a worthy addition to the Halloween series. It did moderately well with critics of the time and audiences made it a moderate hit.

    Impressed, the producers of the series decided to rush another entry out onto screens for an October 1989 release.

    Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)-
    Directed By Dominique Othenin-Girard
    Starring Donald Pleasence and Danielle Harris

    Halloween 4 ended on a dark and ambiguous note, echoing the beginning of the original film, suggesting that Michael’s niece Jamie, would be the killer in the next film (should one be made.)

    Obviously, fearing a Part 3 type backlash, the producers relented on the interesting premise promised by the last film and delivered more of the same.

    Essentially a rehashing of a rehashing, Halloween 5 is a competently made, if uninspiring entry into the series. The acting is still decent, with Pleasence’s over the top histrionics always being a pleasure to watch. The film looks nice, if a bit flat and the score by Alan Howarth is still suitably spooky. A major detraction from the film are two idiotic cops and the horrid score that accompanies them. But, overall, despite a creepy sequence in a kid’s hospital, several atmospheric scenes set in Michael’s home, and another dark, ambiguous ending, the film just seems tired and lazy.

    And, due to the rushed, cheapo nature of the production, it’s easy to understand why. Revenge is good by slasher standards, but not exceptional like the last entry.

    Halloween 666: The Origin of Michael Myers/Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)-
    Directed By Joe Chappelle
    Starring Donald Pleasence and Paul Rudd

    Wanting to make good on the last film’s off kilter ending, the makers of Halloween 6 decided to be brave and go in a different direction again, by showing and examining just what made Michael Myers the killer he is.

    What they came up with, a mysterious druid cult that has been making people like Michael Myers for “centuries” through the use of mystical rune stones and magic ceremonies was certainly far fetched (and not handled too greatly) but hey, at least it was different right?

    The original cut of the film, the “Producer’s Cut” or Halloween 666: The Origin of Michael Myers ran nearly an hour and forty minutes and was quite different from what ended up in theaters. The film ran smoothly and detailed the activities of the “Thorn Cult” that controlled Michael Myers. It explained that Myers was made to sacrifice every member of his bloodline until no one was left, then the “Curse of Thorn” would be passed on to another. Stylistically the film was fairly subdued and visually in line with the previous installments. The death scenes were well shot, but more minimal in terms of gore. And the score, by Alan Howarth again, was mostly subtle and suspense oriented.

    This version of the film was shown to test audiences… and they hated it. While it is definitely hard to catch this version of the film, I do prefer it to the theatrical cut. I feel if the Original Cut had a bit more judicious editor, someone to just tighten it up a tad AND had some better effects during the Druid ritual finale, it would have been quite good. Certainly equal with Part 4.

    NOW, the Theatrical Cut is a different matter. I consider the “Music Video Cut” of Halloween 6 to be the birth of today’s style of horror film. Basically the original cut of the film was taken and run through a blender, excising most scenes with Donald Pleasence and explanations of the druid plot elements. Leaving what I’m sure was a disjointed and now 88 minute long film. But, to compound this even more, they went further and added flash cuts, more, somewhat out of place gore (that ended up getting edited itself by the MPAA anyways) and a weird hard rock score.

    The most widely available cut of the film is still a decent slasher flick, but it feels messy and incoherent in many places. And it just doesn’t seem like a Halloween film.

    Halloween H20 (1998)-
    Directed By Steve Miner
    Starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Josh Hartnett

    Immediately after Halloween 6 came Scream and it’s various knock offs, ushering in firmly, the current era of horror we still reside in.

    H20 was designed to be something of a reset button for the series. A conscious erasure of parts 3-6. In essence the makers of H20 wished for it to be considered the real Part 3. A novel idea at the time to be sure, but the film they made didn’t quite end up fitting the lofty ideas set for it.

    Plot wise the film does act as a part 3 of sorts. Star of parts 1 and 2 Jamie Lee Curtis has been brought back into the fray and the story follows her life over the past 20 years and her current situation. Jamie Lee faked her death shortly after the events of part 2 and has been in hiding, in the remote hillsides of California since. She is now employed as a the Principal of a posh private school. And aside from a few nightmare’s involving her murderous brother, life in hiding with her son is good, strained, but good.

    Of course we wouldn’t have a movie if Michael Myers had died at the end of part 2. He too has been in hiding all these years, biding his time and trying to find his long lost sister. Find her he does, then the film drops into it’s well worn territory of stalk and kill sequences.

    H20 is a well made film. Jamie Lee is in top form, as always, and the rest of the cast does decently. It’s visual style looks very set in it’s time period though. It doesn’t seem like a Halloween film in it’s look, it’s too slick and brightly lit. Also, once the semi-originality of the basis of the plot has passed and we get to the general “running around in dark hallways” bit, the film loses it’s steam and interest.

    It’s a decent entry, far better than part 6 and with more energy and depth than part 5. It’s a good, solid film, but not quite as good as it thinks it is.

    Halloween: Resurrection (2002)-
    Directed By Rick Rosenthal
    Starring Busta Rhymes and Tyra Banks

    Although H20’s very satisfying conclusion made sure that this time, Michael Myers really was dead, the film also made a lot of money and garnered quite a few good reviews. This naturally meant another Halloween film was to be made, but how?

    A major, and annoying plot contrivance.

    With Myers “back from the dead” out of the way the film runs a tired gambit of cliche and boredom, while it kills off it’s annoying cast.

    The plot revolves around a team of people, shooting an internet aired “Ghost Hunters” type program from inside Michael Myers house. Little do they know, Michael is alive and blah blah blah.

    I’m normally not like this, but I hate Resurrection. It’s bad, it’s not fun, it’s crass and un-stylish and just generally dull. I’ve seen worse, but as far as the Halloween films go, it’s the nadir, so lets move on.

    Rob Zombie’s Halloween (2007)-
    Directed By Rob Zombie
    Starring Malcolm McDowell and Sheri Moon Zombie

    Realizing they killed their cash cow with the last installment, the producers of the Halloween series, ever the pioneers, decided to remake the original.

    I do not hate Rob Zombie’s Halloween as many people do. The first hour of the film is a great, trashy, John Waters like comedy. It’s inept, it’s inane and it’s delightful to watch, if you like rednecks screaming at each other and cursing a lot. In this first half of the film we learn that young Michael Myers had a horrible childhood with his stripper mom and asshole stepdad. This of course doesn’t make it scarier or more interesting when he becomes a mindless killing machine later, but, as I like to say, it’s different right?

    The first hour of the film is definitely more Rob Zombie’s usual thing. There is no real need for suspense to be generated and it’s just silly, hick melodrama. When it gets to John Carpenter territory in the second act however, is when the train flies off the tracks and goes straight to mediocrity. The stalk/slash scenes so deftly handled in Parts 1, 2 and 4 are HARD to do well for anyone, but made doubly so when you dislike the people being killed. You don’t care about them, so why should them being viciously murdered bother or disturb you?

    The latter half of the film is shot in a murky, faux-gritty manner, with ultra violent gore sequences that don’t fit with the usual Halloween aesthetic in any way. And it features even more dislikable characters/dialog than the first half of the film. The thick hard rocking score and badly over used “70’s period” songs just don’t work. And Zombie’s habit of shooting everything like the 90’s version of the 70’s that was popular for a few years, ten years ago, just doesn’t help matters. While not deplorable, unwatchable or repellent like the last entry, the film ends up just being dull.

    Come for the silly first half, don’t stick around for the “serious” second.

    Rob Zombie’s Halloween II (2009)-
    Directed By Rob Zombie
    Starring Malcolm McDowell and Sheri Moon Zombie

    And back into the toilet we go…

    Rob Zombie’s Halloween was a hit and generally liked by most, so naturally a sequel was in order. Originally Rob Zombie wasn’t going to return, but after being incensed by people mucking up his “vision” he decided to make his true, artistic statement, with Halloween 2.

    The film begins with a decent, if uninspired, dream sequence/homage to the Hospital Bound original sequel. This extended opening gambit turns out to be the only decent part of the whole film, the rest is all garbage.

    The worst part of the film, comes right after the opening, when Michael’s body is being transported by two VERY unqualified persons, in a van, to a morgue… somehwere… These people, who are drunk, filthy and cursing like parodies of Tourettes sufferers accidentally run into a very random cow in the middle of the road. Naturally, one guy is killed and the other, who sits paralyzed in his seat saying “Fuck” no less than 20 Million times in the span of two minutes, is murdered rather slowly by a revived Myers.

    The rest of the film is a murky, nasty, F-Bomb laden world populated with hateful, unlikable people and stupidity. The plot, what little there is, rambles along at a deadly, languid pace, intermixing moments of abject idiocy with painful nastiness (and out of place celebrity cameos.) The violence is still hyper-gritty/realisitc and out of place for the series. The movie looks like it was shot through the bottom of a lake and the score/music is even more jarring than the last film. It’s no wonder it flopped and Zombie was fired.

    To leave you with a bit of terror, in a close for this piece, Halloween III in 3-D is set for release in 2011… Will it be a new dimension of terror? Or a quite old dimension of suck? Who can say? The team making it Patrick Lussier and Todd Farmer did the exceptionally decent My Bloody Valentine 3-D remake definitely seem to understand the spirit of the slasher film better than Zombie, that’s all I can say for now.

    Either way, as the old saying goes, everyone deserves one good scare, maybe the next film will have at least one… Unlike Parts 8-10.

  • BRWC is 2: Killer on the Road, A Novel by James Ellroy

    BRWC is 2: Killer on the Road, A Novel by James Ellroy

    My third BRWC 2nd Anniversary Piece!

    “A brilliant, twisted mind driven by a heart of blackest evil. A mad genius coming of age in a seamy world of drugs, flesh, and perversion. An unstoppable psychopath with an insatiable hunger for blondes… and blood…

    From the secluded love nests of L.A. to the snow-covered slopes of Aspen to the affluent estates of Westchester County, New York, a bizarre serial murderer embarks on a nightmare journey of unspeakable carnage that spans three decades. From coast to coast, he is spoken of in terrified whispers- “The Shifter,” The Richmond Ripper,” “The Sexecutioner.” But Martin Michael Plunkett has only one real name- Death…

    The killer is on the road. And there’s nowhere in America to hide…”

    THAT would be the pulpy plot description detailed on the back of the book. And, while it’s fairly accurate, it does the abject seriousness and reality of the novel a disservice.

    If you ever want to crawl into the darkest recesses of the human psyche. The violent, primal parts that exist inside all of us, never allowed out, by common sense, decency and morality… then Killer On The Road is for you.

    The novel is like a first person diary of insanity. You could fully believe a Dennis Rader or Gary Leon Ridgeway wrote this while on a years-spanning murder spree. It is truly that deep and it is truly that disturbing. This, like a lot of Ellroy’s work, is not for everyone, or those who are faint of heart. The novel is extremely graphic, in a first person way, about it’s violence, sex, sexual violence and the psychological components of the novel’s central character. You get inside this man, this monster’s head… and what is truly disturbing, is you’ll feel for him at times.

    At the beginning of the novel he is a boy, a lonely boy, who’s natural beastliness is brought out and amplified through tragedy and trouble. As his life goes on he becomes a whacked out “anti-hero”, who’s initially small time criminal exploits escalate until he becomes a violent mass murderer.

    Honestly there’s little else I can say (that wouldn’t spoil each chilling development), other than that Killer On The Road is a truly chilling page turner. Not something you want to read with the lights off.

    If you’re into true crime, this work of utterly disturbing fiction will be right up your alley.

    10 out of 10 Psycho-Sexual Serial Killers

  • BRWC is 2: The Fame by Lady Gaga

    BRWC is 2: The Fame by Lady Gaga

    Here goes my second BRWC 2nd Anniversary post, and it’s a “hip”, “timely” one… At least for me…

    I am quite picky when it comes to music I will listen to and love on a regular and repeat basis. When I like an artist, song or album I will obsessively listen to each millisecond of recorded aural pleasure until each syllable is permanently etched into my brain. Needless to say if I just loved everything that is popular or well known my mind would be filled to bursting AND I would probably be clinically retarded. Because, lets face it, MOST modern music is mediocre at best and at worst… well… there is Solange Knowles.

    I grew up on a steady diet of well written, lovingly crafted and produced music from the varying likes of Queen, The Bee Gees, Led Zepplin, Elton John, Dio, Ennio Morricone, etc. All were classic artists, with classic songs and brilliant, seemingly unending repertoires of excellent music.

    As I got older and my musical tastes expanded off into the far reaches (Tangerine Dream anyone?) I came up with a sort of natural, mental litmus test that determines what music I will enjoy.

    First: And most importantly, you must be able to hear in the music that its creator truly loves what he or she has made.

    Second: No matter how serious the subject matter I like to be able to tell that the artist is not taking his or herself too seriously.

    Third (and Last): The music must be well written and produced (a sense of lyrical humor is also nice, but not 100% necessary.)

    This criteria and general pickiness brings me to today’s subject matter, “The Fame” by Lady Gaga. I was first exposed to Gaga via the video for her single “Poker Face.” I encountered it one morning after rising early and flipping on Vh1. After a few bland, acoustic-ish, no talents rolled across the screen this glittering, campy disco ball of pseudo anti-pop, disco pulsed gloriousness rising up out of a storm surrounded pool to a thumping electronic beat.

    At first I was merely stunned and amused, paying the music no mind, while watching this live-action anime-like creature strut across the screen with fearless ridiculousness. My obsessive nature took the best of me and I decided I needed to own this video. Slowly but surely the SONG at the heart of the video also worked its way into my subconscious. Pulsing and pumping around in my brain it stuck like gum to a shoe.

    At this point I realized why I was loving what I was seeing and hearing. Lady Gaga is a complete caricature of what is wrong with current music. She has taken everything that Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan hint at in their various endeavors and taken it to a cartoonish extreme, thereby making into some weird art form all it’s own.

    Lady Gaga’s music and image is something that shouldn’t work, but it does. It’s firmly rooted in the last days of disco and early stages of 80’s New Wave, but also a part of today’s over produced, practically computer crafted audio creations. It’s totally posed and planned, but it seems like at any minute it could fall apart and just go anywhere. All that adds up to a thoroughly delicious and entertaining experience, but the music would never work without the insane visual counterpart of Lady Gaga herself. If Britney tried to do these songs they would fall flat because she doesn’t have that sense of humor or balls out gusto that makes Gaga work.

    “Just Dance” is the first track off of The Fame. It is an exceedingly well produced song. The lyrics (simply enough, about getting smashed while on a night out on the town) are prattled off in a thoroughly tongue-in-cheek manner by a relentlessly cheeky Gaga (who also writes and co-produces every song on the album) and briefly by guest singer Colby O’Donis. Overall the song is pulse pounding, melodic and sure to get your toes tapping.

    “Love Game” is up next and it is a doozy. Double entendres run rampant throughout this dazzilingly produced piece. The lyrics roll off Gaga’s tongue winking all the way. With talk of talk of riding “disco sticks” and lines like “You’ve indicated your interest, I’m educated in sex yes” this one is sure to keep your pulse and your mind racing.

    “Paparazzi” is the solid third track. This song is a bit different than the other two, more melodic and somber, but still cheekily playful. Paparazzi is one of those delightful love songs where the protagonist loves someone so much they must stalk them. Being a bit psychotic myself, this type of song always scores a soft spot in my heart.

    “Beautiful, Dirty, Rich” is next and is one of the few songs I don’t really enjoy from the album. The song is still well written and produced. It has a nice thick back beat, and a good rhythm, but overall it just doesn’t work as well for me. It’s short though and it’s nice to hear that Gaga doesn’t shove a mess of pitch correction on her voice. On this song and all the others you can tell it’s a real human being singing.

    “Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)” is a change of pace. It’s light and airy, with just little pings of synthesizers floating along with its soft melody. The song is like a fun day at the beach. It’s a good listen. The lyrics are fluffy, but still sort of playfully winking at general pop music clichés, making them more interesting than they would be otherwise. And as usual, the production values are exquisite without being overbearing.

    “Poker Face”, back to the Lady we know and love. The beat and lyrics are breathless in their ability to relentless infiltrate your ears and mind. Immensely catchy, be it from the initial deep voiced, stuttering “Ma-Ma-Ma-Ma’s” or the dreamily melodic tune of the “Can’t read my, can’t read my Poker Face” chorus. Once you get beyond that though, the lyrics are well timed semi-subversive tongue tricks that are unleashed at a furious pace. Plus, any song that features a line like “I won’t tell you that I love you, kiss or hug you, cause I’m bluffin’ with my muffin” deserves to be a modern day classic of some sort. Without a doubt the best overall song on the album.

    “The Fame” follows next. It’s no secret Lady Gaga loves David Bowie (in fact she probably wouldn’t exist without him) and this song seems to be her homage to him. The production values are a bit more stripped down on this one. The beat accentuated with a plucky electric guitar and “shaker beans.” The song sounds like it could have come from one of Bowie’s lesser, but still interesting mid-eighties releases. This is one of the lesser tracks on the album, but still a good listen. The lyrics poke fun at today’s current media obsessed culture and the production values are consistent and engaging.

    “Money Honey” begins with a silly, deep synthesizer that is sure to get stuck in your head. Gaga goes a bit deeper and throaty with her vocals in this song and it is a refreshing change of pace. Once again the lyrics are playful, ballsy and fun. And the song is sort of a cheeky, melodic, listing of all the things Lady Gaga loves about being rich and famous. If anyone else did it, it would seem conceded or flashy, but as always Gaga makes it fun and funny.

    “Again Again” is one of my favorite tracks on the album. It is very different from every other song. This would be the second closest thing to a “ballad” on The Fame. It features soulfully searing vocals from Gaga. And lyrics you can tell are deeply personal, but not maudlin. The production work is stripped down, but still pleasing to the ears. I guess one might even put this in the “blue eyed soul” category. Part of the reson I love the song is because it reminds me of “Lovin, Touchin, Squeezin” by Journey.

    “Boys Boys Boys” switches back to the general sound The Fame has given us so far. The song sounds a little like Money Honey, due to some similar synthesizers and production work, but this is a better song. Once again the lyrics are cheeky and playful, in a kind of juvenile manner. If the lovely chorus melody doesn’t get stuck in your head check your pulse cause you might be dead. And yet again Gaga indulges in throwing out memorably goofy lines like “love it when you call me legs, in the morning buy me eggs.”

    “Brown Eyes” is another “different” song. This would be THE closest thing to a ballad on the album. It’s slow and soulful, a very welcome change of pace. This is also another favorite track of mine, do to some little touches in the production work (namely a very retro sounding subtle synthesizer riff in the chorus.) Once again Gaga shows she aint no one trick pony in the vocal department by whipping out an impassioned and sentimental performance. The lyrics are deep and heartfelt, but still with a welcome sense of humor. I’d call this the second best song on The Fame.

    “Summerboy” switches gears again. This song combines the danceable beats of the bulk of the tracks, with the stripped down and more “rock-like” production values of Again Again and Brown Eyes. This is a fun song, one you could put on in the car and just get lost in. The lyrics are engaging and catchy. And the hooks are ever present and solid. The chorus is especially well written, melodic and memorable.

    “I Like it Rough” closes out the “standard edition” of The Fame (which is what I am reviewing from.) I like this song, but I feel that perhaps they should have ended the album with Summerboy. This is a well produced and written pop song, but it feels kind of like filler or that it has just been tacked on. Perhaps if they had placed it in between The Fame and Money Honey it would have worked better. STILL I do like the song. Once again Gaga’s lyrical word play makes the song more memorable than it would be in lesser mouths.

    So, in a nutshell “The Fame” is a brilliant modern pop album. All of the songs are witty, well written and crafted. The whole album is fun and intriguing from start to finish. Even the lesser songs make for a good listening experience. Lady Gaga is a talented song writer and producer, who SHOULD have a long and fruitful career ahead of her. Despite the giddy deliriousness of The Fame I’m not totally convinced her follow up album (and I mean full follow up, not the gloriously decent EP The Fame Monster), whatever it may be, will scale the heights this one does, but I cannot wait to see her try.

    • Just Dance- 9/10
    • Love Game- 9/10
    • Paparazzi- 8/10
    • Beautiful, Dirty, Rich- 5/10
    • Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)- 7/10
    • Poker Face- 10/10
    • The Fame- 5/10
    • Money Honey- 6/10
    • Again Again- 8/10
    • Boys Boys Boys- 8/10
    • Brown Eyes- 9/10
    • Summerboy- 9/10
    • I Like It Rough- 5/10
    •
    Overall Rating for “The Fame”- 8 out of 10 Disco Balls

  • BRWC is 2: An Encounter with William Shatner (A True Story)

    BRWC is 2: An Encounter with William Shatner (A True Story)

    In celebratory honor of Battle Royale With Cheese’s Two Year Anniversary Spectacular, I decided to do 4 great big postings! Starting with this deeply personal, and true tale, involving one of my few meetings with real celebrities… So, with that intro out of the way, lets hop right into the madness, and Happy Second Birfday BRWC! Mwah!

    It has been well documented that I am a major nerd, and a Star Trek fan, so I wont hit too hard over the head with those chestnuts in this rant. I’ll just jump right into the fray with this silly, but true story from my youth…

    I went to the 30th Anniversary Star Trek convention in Sacramento California, back in 1996. This was one of the last conventions Deforest Kelley (Dr. McCoy) was around for. I was 11, I went dressed as Spock (ears, bowl cut and all.) In fact at the time I was all about Spock, I loved him obsessively, almost HATED Captain Kirk.

    Anyways, Shatner (Captain Kirk), Nimoy (Mr. Spock) and Kelley were going to be there to talk on stage for a bit and do autographs later on. The way it works is, EVERYONE gets to hear them recount old stories on stage, then say 300 people got the “Exclusive Tickets” where you’d get to meet the Trio and have them sign yer junk n’ stuff back stage.

    So I’m sitting in the audience with my fellow “Exclusive Trekkies” waiting breathlessly for the main men, the big three…. And… only Shatner shows up for the “talk”” portion.

    He’s visibly/audibly drunk, but in good spirits. He’s bursting out of his clothes and very boisterous. For thirty-forty minutes he goes on a rant about women breaking into his hotel room to sleep with him, during which his toup’ slips several times AND he splits his pants. (You couldnt see it, but you could hear it.) I was in awe, mouth agape the whole time. It was… just so surreal. (Coupled with the fact he was dressed in his Star Trek V “casual look”, ie Plaid Shirt, overly tight jeans, work boots.) Anywho, once he was done with his spiel, we all went backstage, where upon Nimoy and Kelley joined Shatner at a table (they said we were “late.” We all assumed they just didnt want to be on stage with Bill. Very Galaxy Quest.)

    We all line up to have our posters and such signed. The whole time I was thinking what I was going to say to old Shat’s about his directorial disasterpiece The Final Frontier (as I’d always vowed to bring it up to him, should I meet him in person.) Should I quote a line? Mention the deleted “rock man” sequence? Ask him to SAY “Go climb a rock?” These thoughts plagued me, but, as I edged closer I realized I wouldnt get the chance to say anything.

    Shatner was mowing through the autographs like his hands were on loan. There was a gorgeous, GORGEOUS italian woman (I’m talking 60’s Sophia Loren hot) in front of me. I mean, she flew all the way from Italy to see him in Cali. So, I figured I’d see how he treated her, to decide what I would say or do, if anything. She gets up to him and leans in and says as sexy as she can “Oh Meester Shatnoir I have come all the way from Italy just to see you. You are so amazing.” Shatner scribbles his name on her picture of him, half looks up and deadpans “That’s nice. Move along.” I was stunned. So, it was my turn. And I of course just manage to get out “I came all the way from North Carolina to see you…” and he cuts me off and goes “Oh really. Move along.” (Once again, VERY Galaxy Quest.)

    Nimoy and Kelley went by much better. They were nice, kind, humorous and took their time. I was still sort of in shock throughout. In any case. After Shatner decimates all three hundred autographs in what seems like 5 minutes, he gets up from the table, two gorgeous blondes walk over to him and wrap a leather jacket on his shoulders. He puts his arms around them and begins to walk out. As he leaves, he looks back at Nimoy and Kelley and says with that famous half smirk and a nod at Nimoy “Leonard…” then turns to DeForest and says “Bones, I didn’t think you were gonna make it. Nice to see you. You look like death.” Nimoy and Kelley cut him a little nod, then Shatner laughs and leaves.

    Naturally Deforest Kelley died a short time after that.

    Now, after this incident, one would think I would dislike Shatner/Kirk more, right? This would be the response for a normal person, but being me and not normal, I had the opposite reaction.

    I became kind of obsessed with Shatner/Kirk, more so than Spock. I just couldn’t believe the jaw dropping magnitude of that man and his own essence. He changed me that day. And, from meeting him and seeing him that way, it is easy to see just why Star Trek V The Final Frontier is the way it is. And why Shatner is the oddly revered national treasure he is.