Paintball Massacre: Review

Paintball Massacre

Jessica Bentley (Cheryl Burniston) is newly engaged and has been invited to a school reunion, although her fiancé is unable to join her. She soon gets reacquainted with her friends from school such as Lauren Bryce, (Natasha Killip) a self-obsessed glamour model, Sara Ryan (Aoife Smyth) a woman who’s seen The Fast and The Furious a million times and Nathan Brown (Lee Latchford-Evans) who Lauren instantly takes a shine to besides not remembering him at all at school.

After a few drinks the reunion surprise is sprung on Jessica as a way to bring them all together – paintball. Some of them are eager and Jessica is really reluctant, but after some peer pressure they all go off to face the competition.

They’re met by their paintball Marshalls; Shelly (Katy Brand) and Eddie (Robert Portal) who show them how it should be done and make sure that they know the rules. However, after they really get into the match things get very quiet and when the red team investigate the blue team’s base, they realise that they’ve all been brutally murdered.

With a killer on the loose with a modified paint-gun and some traps especially laid out, this will be a reunion Jessica will never forget.

Paintball Massacre is a British horror comedy which takes on a simple premise and sets it in a very British way so that those who remember their school days or know what school reunions are like can laugh at the variety of characters in the movie. The issue is that although Paintball Massacre has a good idea behind it, the execution could use some work.

As the friends reunited start to theorise about who the killer could be, suspicions arise and as they are blaming each other, the killer is bumping them off one by one. This does lead to some speculation about the killer’s identity, particularly as it may be Jessica’s fiancé, but for people who know the format of these kinds of films then there’s nothing new or original to offer.

There’s also very little known about most of the characters and although that makes for good fodder as the audience watches them all get killed, it also doesn’t mean that they have anything to root for when it comes down to the final few survivors. Although tightly scripted with a good idea of what the audience wants, it’s already been done too often.

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Joel found out that he had a talent for absorbing film trivia at a young age. Ever since then he has probably watched more films than the average human being, not because he has no filter but because it’s one of the most enjoyable, fulfilling and enriching experiences that a person can have. He also has a weak spot for bad sci-fi/horror movies because he is a huge geek and doesn’t care who knows it.


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