Cloud Atlas

I’ll admit I have very little recollection of what happens in Cloud Atlas. But I do remember it being a hideous spectacle of cross-dimensional nonsense and suspect casting. 

Chappie

Remember after District 9 came out and everyone was eager to see what the exciting new talent of Neill Blomkamp was going to do next? Could he even resurrect the ailing Alien franchise? We might have been able to write off the disappointing Elysium as a sophomore slump, were it not followed up by this monstrosity. While the quality of the titular robo-cop’s CGI is to be commended, and Dev Patel does his best with an absurd script, the rest of the film is a hodgepodge of ugly design and bad-tempered performances. And not content with creating awful music, Die Antwoord’s Ninja and Yo-Landi have to try to ruin films for us too. Say what you want about Alien: Covenant, but I’d much rather the xenomorphs stayed in Sir Ridley’s stable.