By Peter Killip.
I had this mate when I was a kid, more of a mate-of-a-mate to be fair but that’s not the point….he was always a handsome bastard, every girl in the area wanted a piece of him. He appealed to all of ’em, the fat, the thin, tall, short etc, you get the idea, even all the lads buzzed off him. He just seemed, above all else, trustworthy. Nobody ever called into question the attention he got from the fairer sex, the fucker deserved it.
One day, myself, an actual mate and the lad in question were taking in the scenic splendor that Hulme had to offer sat upon a wall of some height. On exit of said “activity” and witnessing of their victory rolls to the ground I realized how tall this bastard wall was and shit a brick. Hanging gingerly from my ever sweating fingertips, I lowered myself down onto his shoulders to be lowered to safety. As I said, he just seemed trustworthy.
Which brings us to Clooney……………….
Having made something of a reputation of jumping through Hollywood’s hoops over the course of three decades (I still get goosebumps on hearing the “Return Of The Killer Tomatoes” theme) and taking a shedload of once unheard of talent and giving them a home with his ill fated production company “Section Eight” since making himself a household name, You can forgive him the occasional smug acceptance speech or god-awful Nespresso advert, the suave bastard has earnt his place at the table.
So upon seeing the trailer for Alfonso Cuaron’s( “Y Tu Mama Tambien” and “Children Of Men”) latest, simultaniously all claustrophobia and isolation, amazing visuals that’d make Attenborough weep, George doing his thing, there was no room for hesitation, this was going to be special. Then I heard her voice. Sandra fucking Bullock. She’d find a way to balls this up, look what she almost did to “Demolition Man”…….
Playing a Dr on her first time out on a space mission with more than her legal share of emotional baggage in the overhead works well against Clooney’s world weary vet who is on his last space walk, all soothing tones against her usual nasal squarks, I was expecting all involved to have to do some heavy lifting of expectations after she’s let loose but then it happens, it shifts gear, shit goes down and we’re rooting for her and we’re treated to some of the finest and most cinematic destruction ever endeavored to be put on screen. Whether You catch this in 3D, 2D, IMAX, fucking…..Betamax….doesn’t matter. This is sheer spectacle.
Make no bones about it, this is indeed a studio movie, with the money it would have cost to get what you see on screen, I can live with that, I am however, on edge about how Cuaron follows this, Orson Welles was able to slide into advert work and voicing “Transformers; The Movie” but not every great director makes that transition after making their masterpiece.
A brief scene involving Clooney and vodka does threaten to disrupt all that went before and but pulls back just in time and initially brought to mind that fateful day on the wall, slowly letting go and lowering myself, it was then that I heard him laugh, almost maniacally as he kept hold of my legs and sent us both flying, me with a 15 foot drop, straight on my shoulders and back, didn’t shit right for about a week. Lesson here is; ” You can’t trust people.” apart from Clooney, You can always trust him……..
5 POPS HEADS
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