Movie Review: Mega Piranha (TV)

According to imdb.com Mega Piranha is classified as an “action, horror, sci-fi” film, when in fact this made for TV movie should be categorised under “sad, really, really sad”. Yes, folks, this is one of those movies that would make any reviewer weep and repent for their sins (and not in a good way). The acting was weak, the CGI was pathetic and not to mention that the dialogue pretty much sucked! And that’s me being nice about it! 

You see I have this guilty pleasure thing when it comes to natural horrors (Anaconda, Jaws, Lake Placid, stuff like that) and even the worst B-Movies can usually get a good review out of me, but not this one… oh no, Snakes on a Plane was Oscar material against Mega Piranha and I truly mean it. Now some might say that I’m putting Mega Piranha up against blockbuster natural horror movies and that of course a made for TV movie might not have as big of a budget, yada, yada, yada… Let me tell those folks now, I watched Sharktopus not two days earlier and that was IMMENSELY better than this pathetic waste of money and time.

Seriously, at times I thought there was a meth lab on set (that’s how bad it was).
All those things aside… wait… no, I can’t find anything good about the movie. It was a waste of time and the CGI was really very poorly done. At one point in the movie the piranha’s are small then further on they’re HUGE then further on they’re small again… it’s confusing. To make matters worse they used CGI to create helicopters and other stuff and that’s not all… oh no, they stepped it up a notch and LOOPED scenes over and over for dramatic effect!!! I don’t have a problem with a low budget film, but heaven knows that’s just bad.

Mega Piranha is apparently about genetically mutated piranhas that escape from a laboratory and whatnot, they swim off and start eating a boat with an American ambassador on it blah, blah, blah… so this one dude (who has a body to die for) is sent to analyse the situation and he meets this one frumpy scientist chick with bad hair (who actually only knows how to act with her hands…) and eventually he’ll give her a pity fuck (well that is how it felt at the end)… Anywho so these piranhas grow and grow and grow and they destroy stuff (oh and they jump out of the water onto the buildings on the harbour and my reaction was: “Missile piranhas!” because the buildings explode and stuff but okay that’s too much information). The piranhas magically adapt to whatever boundaries there are for them naturally and yeah, chaos. Now, the idea wasn’t that bad, but that’s the only good thing I have to say about the movie. I’d really rather gouge out my eyes and stick pencils into my eardrums than sit through that movie again.
AVOID AT ALL COSTS!!!!!

Rating: -1/10
Please Note: I did not even mention the actors’ names in this film, because we’ll never see them again and if we do, I think they’d like to live this horrible film down… so yes… call this my good deed of the year.



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Alton loves film. He is founder and Editor In Chief of BRWC.  Some of the films he loves are Rear Window, Superman 2, The Man With The Two Brains, Clockwise, Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, Trading Places, Stir Crazy and Punch-Drunk Love.

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