By Salena Katiyar.
I hate trailers.
Why on earth would I sit through 3 minutes of utterly spoiler filled sequences when I can actually watch the film itself?
A particularly noteworthy offender is Carrie (1976) – a quality trailer which infamously shows you how all of the main characters die at the end of the film. Some other honourable mentions include: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Goldeneye, and then there are practically 1001 comedy film trailers that show you all of good jokes in the trailer (probably because there aren’t any other good ones).
I thought therefore that I would pay homage to the film trailers that downright lie to you about the content of the film. Okay, okay, this isn’t necessarily any better, but at least you’re surprised!
I struggle to work out why this happens, I know the trailers are almost always put together by a completely different team to the one that actually produced the film but surely someone should say no when they get given a drama about the struggles of being a German ballet dancer in post war berlin but they realise that subtitles and struggle don’t really perform well in the 18-25 bracket so they sell it as a zany romcom.
Anyway here is my list:
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
What the trailer promises: a light hearted and slightly abstract rom-com (the most loved of all genres) about a mismatched couple.
What the film is actually like: an intense emotional roller-coaster about relationships, and having the opportunity to be able to forget – with some stunning visual effects as well.
What the trailer promises: A generic stalker horror film – a young couple who have just moved into a large (mostly glass) house are terrorised by a creepy man from Jason Bateman’s past. My boyfriend was so put off by the promotion of this film that it took hours of pleading to get him to come to the cinema with me and watch it.
What the film is actually like: Terrifying psychological trailer with an ending that makes you want to go and take a shower.
The Fountain
What the trailer promises: A drama about man who is desperate to find/invent a cure for his dying wife.
What the film is actually like: A very visual film, that mediates on life and death. It is much less action packed than you would think from watching the trailer. It goes all weird and spacey towards the end – but in a good way. Apparently the original script had far more of the bald tattooed man in the flying space tree, but that had to be cut out due to budgets, and studios wanting to actually sell the film.
What the trailer promises: Looks like a romantic comedy where two people strike up an unlikely friendship and then party together in Japan.
What the film is actually like: As well as being a bit of a weird romantic comedy, it is actually quite serious at points – it handles a variety of serious subjects including isolation, insomnia and culture.
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
What the trailer promises: A beautifully made Gothic horror film about a barber who is seeking vengeance.
What the film is actually like: They sing…for the entire film. There is virtually no spoken dialogue in this film. “To be honest though musicals are the lowest form of entertainment, so this one is understandable” – my boyfriend.
What the trailer promises: An interesting sci-fi thriller about a mystery plague.
What the film is actually like: A killer wind starts killing people, with little explanation as to why. This is the point when M Night Shyamalan really went off the rails – this makes the aliens that are deathly allergic to water seem like a masterpiece
What the trailer promises: Imaginary creatures, mythical destinies – seems like an adventure fairy-tale.
What the film is actually like: They all speak SPANISH…for the entire film. Also the trailer manages to miss out the whole Spanish civil war, full of real death and face slicing, and torture, etc.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAAMuih7bU0
What the trailer promises: A comedy about Charlize Theron’s character returning to her hometown and
What the film is actually like: Directed by Jason Reitman, I should have realised that is was more likely to be a black comedy – but it is also a fantastic performance by Charlize Theron, who is a depressed alcoholic.
What the trailer promises: A mysterious medley of shots with a classical soundtrack. Looks like there is a romance between Colin Firth and Julian Moore.
What the film is actually like: A tragic drama about a depressed English professor struggling to come to terms with the death of his boyfriend.
What the trailer promises: A fantasy adventure where two children discover ‘something incredible’ in the woodland near their home – think monsters, giants and fairies.
What the film is actually like: This film shouldn’t be watched by children, or anyone else in the ownership of tear ducts. It will make you cry, there is a distinct lack of fairytale nonsense, and an over abundance of stuff that will make you cry. Also there is whole bunch singing teacher stuff that really should have been cut out, but never mind.
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