Category: REVIEWS

Before watching this film, my mind was immediately taken to a somewhat stereotypical notion that Scandinavian cinema and TV is dark, full of gritty realism, slow and often difficult to watch.

Finnish Director J-P Valkeapaa has not changed my perception at all. Dogs Don’t Wear Pants is everything you’ve come to imagine from Scandinavia in this dark yet somehow wholesome tale of self-discovery, grief and BDSM.

Heart surgeon Juha [Pekka Strang] has been unable to move on since the tragic death of his wife. He lives with his daughter Elli [Ilona Huhta] and remains respected and loved, but is unable to find joy in his life.

After a chance throttling by a Dominatrix as he stumbled into the wrong room during one of her sessions, Juha realises at the point of death he’s reconnected with his wife.

Obsessed and dominated by the need to see his wife again, Juha builds an unlikely relationship with his dominatrix Mona [Krista Kosonen],but as the relationship turns sour and Juha finally and truly reaches the point of death, seemingly amazingly and almost randomly he realises (I still don’t get quite what happened) that he has something, feeling joy again thanks to his abuse and pain under Mona. His experiences leading to the end of his grief, bringing him to a new sense of self.

Dogs Don’t Wear Pants has some absolutely beautiful cinematography with angles that bring mystery and scene direction that adds a whole other level to the film. It also has some incredibly difficult to watch scenes, and I’m not really talking so much the BDSM, but pointless images of open heart surgery and naked patients on the operating table that really hits home the lack of dignity hospitals provide.

The BDSM is difficult and people do appear in pain, not least Mona herself, but it’s shown in a way that doesn’t make it shameful or disgusting, but shows the benefits of fetish to the people who attend and the community that’s built around it that Juha grows within.

Where the film really lacks is the growth of secondary characters. Juha is given back story, personality and substance. Although we have a few glimpses of Mona’s non-BDSM life, we don’t really get to understand her motivation even though Juhu’s experiences clearly have an effect on her we never get to understand why or to what extent.

Elli equally gets little time to be understood, and there appears to be an arc where she gets a boyfriend but the meaning and consequence of it seems irrelevant and merely there to build screen time or show that she’s moving on from her father.

Although a hardcore film for the most part, and not likely to hit mainstream scenes or BBC2 anytime soon, Dogs Don’t Wear Pants is surprisingly heart warming, and although it starts INCREDIBLY slow and a real grind it does grow into itself and very much recommended.

A bit out there, and a bit different and there are better films out there, but Dogs Don’t Wear Pants is a solid 7/10 and worth a watch if you’re into gritty cinema.

WIVES OF THE SKIES – Dir. Honey Lauren

A journalist gets in over his head when he interviews two air stewardesses.
This raunchy tale involves two very pretty stewardesses, and a gulping reporter who tries to uncover their mysterious allure. 

It’s a sensual, sexual exploration that remains largely wholesome throughout, with an air of comfortability (apart from the reporter occasionally getting hot under the collar).

You see, one of the stewardesses, Fran (wonderfully played by Rachel Alig) is in to Kinbaku rope bondage – beautiful, exquisitely tied knots. I’m sure the viewer will share in the reporter’s choked surprise when he discovers her in such a state when invited for dinner.

The tale unravels further down the rabbit hole of these two women’s lives – and the reporter gets roped in headfirst.

Wives Of The Skies – This sweet, sensual tale will leave your head spinning, but with a fresh original take it’s bound to impress.

WOTS is a romantic dramedy, set in 1965, starring two stewardesses from Fine Air, a well-appointed airline, and the British writer who interviews them. At the same time, WOTS makes a contemporary socio-cultural statement regarding the meme of “the good girl, drawn bad”. WOTS is a romantic dramedy, set in 1965, starring two stewardesses from Fine Air, a well-appointed airline, and the British writer who interviews them. At the same time, WOTS makes a contemporary socio-cultural statement regarding the meme of “the good girl, drawn bad”. WOTS clarifies the impact of the overarching “men’s gaze” which objectifies women as carnal sex objects men seek, while they look for love. Along the way, addressing the primitive issue of Trust vs. Mistrust, WOTS displays the Japanese art of rope binding, Kinbaku.

The Complex: The BRWC Review. By Wormatron.

Confronted with the horrors of the world, for which I can only be held partially responsible, I find myself almost entirely isolated, save for one other person with whom I have to endure this struggle.  Granted, the use of technology allows us to seek guidance and demand answers from a wider group, although exactly whom, and what information I can trust isn’t always entirely clear. The brutal reality of the current situation is, as with most things in life, the decisions I make will have very real consequences, most of which I am unable to even begin to imagine.  And so, I do what I have to, I accept personal responsibility and I decide.

The parallels are stark, really, between the near-real-world in Wales Interactives’ The Complex and the year of our Lord two thousand and twenty-twenty.  It feels entirely apposite that this play/decide interactive movie should release but a week after a very real lockdown was enacted across our lands.

And so to the thing itself…

Wales Interactive’s website describes the plot as “Having treated the victims of a chemical attack in the totalitarian state of Kindar, Dr Amy Tenant is a leader in the advancement of Nanocell Technology. Now, in London, news breaks of a blood-vomiting civilian whose identity is far from coincidental. Reunited with an old friend, Amy is trapped in an impenetrable HQ of laboratories—a womb of scientific advancement with a perilous secret.”

The intention of this work is to set the player as the protagonist of the plot, to take you on a journey through various plot routes while you, as Amy, are forced to make a series of decisions that impact your journey.  These resolutions allow you to navigate through eight different outcomes, each a result of relationship status tracking that influences the story as you play and real-time personality trait tracking that evolves based on your choices.

In the mould of Bandersnatch and Late Shift, neither of which I have ‘played’, the reality is that the product feels too on-rails to sit comfortably as a game, and does not have the narrative depth or scope to unravel as a film before you.

Billed as a sci-fi thriller, all the hallmarks of the genre are certainly present, unfortunately, this correspondent, at least, wasn’t moved by the action at all.  For all the polish, and there certainly was a lot of that, the narrative felt fairly derivative, perhaps a result of trying to fit the plot of a feature-length into something playable in one sitting. 

And this, I fear, is the rub.

There is much to like about The Complex.  From the attempted scope of the project to the overall quality of what is delivered, serious time and effort has been put into the idea.  On paper, this has all of the qualities needed for a hit. As the adage goes, however, games aren’t played on paper (alright, many games are played on paper and this is the weakest part of a fairly labouring review…).  The execution just misses, not by much, but enough to leave you feeling disappointed, regardless of the denouement.

I played through twice but came to fairly similar endings, almost certainly a result of my decisions, and certainly no comment on the breadth of conclusions available across the stated eight resolutions.  I attempted to try for a third, completely different journey but ran out of steam after the first decision and exited the ‘game’.

Perhaps, as with much in these trying times, this ‘thriller’ is as much a victim of current world events as everything else. Sitting too close to reality at its time of release almost certainly does it no favours.

I really wanted to enjoy my time at Kensington Corp., I really did, decisions, however, all felt too binary, a little simplistic, perhaps.  And maybe this is where we come to the cruces of it all. Maybe what was attempted, like the world around us at present, was just too complex…

THE COMPLEX a live action, interactive Sci-Fi thriller is out now worldwide through PC, PS4, Xbox One and Nintendo Switch.

Wormatron is a near middle-aged misanthrope who, like everyone else in the world, streams games as a hobby.  You can find them at twitch.tv/wormatron. They are no better at streaming than they are at writing reviews.  Be forewarned…

“Second Spring” is a British drama that follows the life of Kathy (Cathy Naden) as she is diagnosed with a rare mental illness. Early on in the film Kathy becomes estranged from her husband Tim (Matthew Jure,) begins acting erratically, and leaves her marriage for a man she barely knows. Kathy begins exhibiting extremely poor impulse control and, most notably, struggles with feeling any empathy.

Though Kathy knows this, she seems to embrace her illness and slip into a delusion about the gravity of her condition.

The filmmaker, director Andy Kelleher, and screenwriter, Martin Herron I believe took quite a risk in showing Kathy’s illness in this way. The progression of Kathy’s poor decision making from the point of diagnosis was quite rapid, but I also believe the timeline is realistic; though not the happy and digestible story an audience always wants to see. 

I even found myself angry with Kathy’s estranged husband Tim, why wasn’t he doing everything in his power to help her? Why did he allow her to make such poor choices knowing it wasn’t completely her? Why did he seem indifferent when she blacked out after spending a night in a park with a stranger? It was difficult to watch, but then I remembered some real-life statistics of women who are diagnosed with cancer.

A 2009 study found that women with cancer are six times more likely to be divorced or separated than a man with a similar diagnosis. Although it is hard to face the reality of serious conditions, and that the words in sickness and health can be just that, words, when two people get married, I still found the downward spiral devastating and I empathized with Kathy even though I cringed at some of the things that she said and did.

The film itself is quite beautiful, and the cinematography, by DP Jonas Mortenson, is a gem. The color palette was lovely, and I was quite impressed later on when I learned this piece was actually shot on Fujifilm. The difference from shooting on digital was instantly noticeable. I miss the days when movies were shot on film and this took me way back, the film gave off a soft contrast and realistic feel that we do not see anymore in modern cinema, it was a real treat.

In terms of the pacing, the film did feel slow and plodding and I would have liked to see more dialogue at points as it tended to become stiff. The edit left something to be desired as my attention slipped in many places. That being said the film had shades of “Still Alice” (2014,) and “Terms of Endearment” (1983) and I found the lead actress, Cathy Naden, to be quite refreshing. She played Kathy with vulnerability and subtlety, her performance reminded me a bit of Susan Sarandon’s in “Stepmom” (1998.)

Though this film is a bit unsettling and could use a final pass through edit, mental illness can be very difficult to capture on screen, and there are good things to be discovered.

Check out the rain jacket in the trailer too.

What an irony it is that when a lockdown is in process, I watch a film about a man travelling to a famous city. The story to It Must Be Heaven follows our protagonist, played by Elia Suleiman (who’s character is credited as ES), as he travels to a number of different city locations to escape his home in Palestine. Only to find that no matter where he goes, something will always remind him of Palestine.

I don’t know what it is – I don’t know if it’s because the artist was influenced or maybe it’s because it’s an off beat comedy with Paris as a major setting and I am projecting a little – but this film gave off vibes of Jean-Pierre Jeunet. More Amelie than The City of Lost Children.

It Must Be Heaven felt like it emulated Jeunet’s more quirky cinematography and some of the editing. It isn’t copy and paste, you could play the two films together and notice a difference, but I couldn’t escape it when I noticed it.

I found It Must Be Heaven to be equal parts charming and frustrating. I found the acting to be excellent, completely natural and yet somewhat theatrical – the best example I can use is Alan Bennett’s Talking Heads. I thought that the plot and the delivery of it was realistic and grounded with just a little quirk in it to make things interesting. I wouldn’t say it was arresting but it did keep the attention.

Although there was a strange moment when someone moved to the beat of a pop song that came out of nowhere and was gone just as quickly – little strange that part.

But what was frustrating about it was that it committed one of cinemas most unfortunate crimes to me. It Must Be Heaven is a comedy that isn’t funny. I didn’t laugh once. Not a single joke landed. No quirk made me smile. This meant for me that the film, despite its positives, even the interesting plot and acting, fell flat and was just boring overall. I know, comedy is subjective.

I love Monty Python, Rick and Morty and JoJo Rabbit, I hate American Pie, The Big Bang Theory and anything produced by Seth McFarlane – but I know many who are the opposite, and I respect their opinions. So, this will not be the take of everyone for this film. 

To many, it will tickle the funny bone and will move them with its simple charm. But sadly, it didn’t for me. There were other issues I had. I wasn’t a fan of the music in the film, which didn’t reliably match the tone they were going for. There was a point when I turned from the screen for five seconds to have my drink and I genuinely thought I had changed the channel – it sounded like a horror film. There were other little nitpicks, but none of them were deal breakers.

I just couldn’t get into It Must Be Heaven myself. It is a shame as I do like to watch something nice and quaint every now and then. If you feel that you could do with a little joy, it’s worth a look. I have a feeling we could do with it at this time.