Author: Alton Williams

  • Fuck! Bonded By Blood


    Fuck! Bonded By Blood

    Whilst watching new UK thriller Bonded By Blood (review soon…) the swearing was counted. 

    It’s total of 312 uses of the word ‘Fuck’ – goes straight in at number 10 in the ‘List of Films That Most Frequently Use the Word Fuck’ according to Wikipedia
    1.       Fuck – (documentary) 2005 – 824 uses of the word “Fuck”.
    2.       Nil by Mouth 1997 – 470
    3.       Summer of Sam 1999 – 435
    4.       Casino 1995 – 422
    5.       Alpha Dog 2007 – 367
    6.       State Property 2002 – 321
    7.       Twin Town 1997 – 318
    8.       Running Scared 2006 – 315
    9.       Sweet Sixteen 2002 – 313
    10.   Bonded By Blood 2010 – 312
    If we include all swear words then Bonded by Blood has a total of 433. Which puts it in front of South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut which has 399 instances of swearing (146 of those were “fuck”).
    Give the ‘F-ck Counter’ game a go!

    © BRWC 2010.

  • Film Review with Robert Mann – Cyrus

    Film Review with Robert Mann - Cyrus

    Cyrus ***

    One of this year’s acquisitions from the Sundance Film Festival by Fox Searchlight Pictures, Cyrus (a film which surprisingly carries the producing credits of Ridley and Tony Scott) has failed to break out in the way that some other films picked up for distribution from the prestigious festival have in recent years (films such as Slumdog Millionaire and (500) Days of Summer come to mind in this regard) but has nonetheless proven to be a minor success on limited release at the US box office and a solid critical performer. Coming from writing/directing team Jay and Mark Duplass – for whom this is their breakout film, their past films being under the radar indies starring actors no one is likely to have heard of – Cyrus has received largely positive reviews to date. Is this critic going to jump on the bandwagon? Of course not. In the past I have made no secret of the fact that I am not exactly a fan of Jonah Hill. And, as a result, I understandably went in to see Cyrus with a lack of anticipation (of the good kind at least).

    John (John C. Reilly) has been unlucky in love. He’s been single for seven years and his ex-wife (Catherine Keener) is about to be remarried. With his social life at an all-time low, John is persuaded to attend a party, but the evening looks as though it’s heading for disaster when John gets drunk and makes a show of himself. So it’s to everyone’s surprise – including John’s – when he meets Molly (Marisa Tomei), a beautiful and gregarious woman with whom he has amazing chemistry. However, John soon discovers that Molly has another man in her life – her 21-year-old son, Cyrus (Jonah Hill). Cyrus and Molly have an unusual relationship and it quickly becomes clear he’s not willing to share his mum with anyone, least of all John…

    Cyrus is a film that shows much promise and a clear degree of talent on the part of writing and directing duo Jay and Mark Duplass yet, at the same time, fails to live up to its potential and demonstrates a distinct lack of ambition on the part of the filmmakers. What they have created is a comedy drama that, thanks to solid writing and dialogue, convincing depictions of realistic and believable characters in honest situations, camera work that is low-tech, handheld, shaky and right in the faces of the actors, and a lack of musical scoring for much of the duration, looks, sounds and feels raw, real and personal. This is a film that lacks all the bells and whistles that tend to come with Hollywood movies, something that wouldn’t be a problem (or may even be a strength) were the substance here truly excellent, but unfortunately this slow paced film never engages as well as it should. There are two key reasons why this is case. Firstly, the storyline fails to be truly engrossing. Secondly, considering that this is supposed to be a black comedy, the filmmakers seem strangely afraid to go anywhere truly dark with the humour and the themes explored. It’s almost as if they got half way towards making a great movie then just gave up, instead settling to make an average one. The humour here, as with many comedies, will very much be a matter of personal taste, mostly being subtle and observational rather than in your face and silly, and while some will find the film hilarious, others may be bored by it all. It is as a drama, rather than as a comedy, that the film really works best. Fortunately, the characters are mostly well realised, something that is crucial given that this film is driven almost entirely by the characters. John C. Reilly is raw, sympathetic, likable and amusing as John and he shares a very believable chemistry with Marisa Tomei, who herself is a quirky, likable and well rounded romantic interest. Tomei also shares a strangely believable odd mother-son dynamic with Jonah Hill, something that makes their characters’ unusual relationship very plausible. Hill himself once again delivers a performance that fails to seem distinctly different from any of the other roles he has played to date but here his casting kind of works, with him portraying just enough emotion for us to see Cyrus as a somewhat troubled young man who just wants acceptance as opposed to a psychopathic individual whose possessiveness over his mother is dangerously out of control. These performances are what really keep the film afloat as, while Jay and Mark Duplass do show some talent, it is clear that they are not fully tapping into it here. Only skimming the surface rather than digging deeper, they fail to go far enough with the concept and while the film really is “raw and honest” it isn’t engaging or entertaining enough to fully satisfy. So, Cyrus is a film that is not really deserving of many of the stellar reviews that have preceded it but it isn’t worth any kind of condemnation either.

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    Review by Robert Mann BA (Hons)

    © BRWC 2010.

  • From Crystal Lake To Manhattan, To Hell, Then Space And Back To Crystal Lake Again… The Friday The 13th Film Series In Review, By Damien Sage

    From Crystal Lake to Manhattan, to Hell, then Space and back to Crystal Lake again…
    The Friday the 13th Film Series in Review
    By Damien Sage

    I went into the history of “modern” horror and the slasher film genre, in specific, in my review of the Halloween Series, so I’ll try not to rehash too much here.

    Essentially the modern horror genre and it’s various aspects/off shoots were formed in the mid to late 70’s. Violence, nudity, gore and emphasis on body count over characterization and plot became the norm, for better or worse, after a spate of esteemed fright flicks (The Exorcist, Jaws, The Omen, Halloween, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, etc.) brought the genre back into bankability and acceptability.

    By 1980, for the most part, true horror, terror and suspense had been replaced with the “slasher film.” There are of course people that find slasher films frightening… Then there are others, like myself, that find them amusing.

    Now, how is it that seeing teenagers getting brutally hacked up by a hulking psychopath lingering in the shadows became so perfectly part of the norm that it’s totally alright, even expected, to laugh at?

    Three words… Friday the 13th

    Yes, behold the magic of the series that both fully cemented the slasher genre as a horror mainstay, made tons of money (for it’s big studio backers Paramount Pictures) AND killed horror at the same time.

    I love the series dearly, it has been a part of my life, all my life. But, there’s no denying that it’s compromised of bad acting, flat direction, non-existent plots/characters/continuity and solely exists to show off a bunch of tits… Preferably tits in peril.

    So, lets get on with it shall we?

    Friday the 13th (1980)-
    Directed By Sean S. Cunningham
    Starring Adrienne Curry and Betsy Palmer

    In 1958 a few counselors got murdered at Crystal Lake, by someone. Years later, in 1980, the camp is being prepped for reopening. The counselors show up, they make a little mischief, have a little sex and get a lot murdered.

    That is it pretty much, plot wise, aside from the (now) “twist ending” (SPOILERS) in which the mother of a young boy named Jason Voorhees, is the one doing the killings, as revenge for the death of her son due to negligence from the counselors.

    Friday the 13th and it’s sequels are really just about the body count. Some are better at it than others and this one is among the best, but still.

    The film is decently, if somewhat amateurishly, shot, with a “Texas Chainsaw” like gritty-realism that lends a certain gravitas to the proceedings. The ending “shock” sequence in which “Child Jason” pops out of the water for one last surprise actually attains a level of cinematic beauty. But the movie isn’t scary, at least not to me. It is a showcase for legendary gore maestro Tom Savini, a few sets of boobs and Harry Manfredini’s iconic “Chhh Chhh Chhh Haa Haa Haa” score. Plain and simple.

    What really sets this one apart from the rest of it’s brethren is Betsy Palmer as Pamela Voorhees. Once she is revealed as the killer (and you picture her stringing bodies from trees, chucking them through windows, etc. in her lovely soccer mom sweater) and starts chewing up the scenery with the greatest of psychotic glee it takes the movie to a level of surreal, demented camp that was never again surpassed in the series (despite how hard they tried.)

    And, speaking of trying hard… the body count continues…

    Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)-
    Directed By Steve Miner
    Starring Amy Steel and John Furey

    The survivor of the last film is offed in a long winded opening sequence. Then the movie jumps back to the AREA of Camp Crystal Lake. Another Camp is being opened, the counselors show up, they have a little sex… Yadda, yadda, yadda…

    Sound familiar, right? Get used to it. As that is essentially the plot of EVERY Friday the 13th film.

    Part 2 is better shot, acted, written and paced (aside from the opening sequence) than it’s predecessor. And it features what many fans consider to be the best “Final Girl” of the series, Amy Steel as Ginny. (Final Girl, being the term used to describe the last person, usually a lady, alive to face off with the killer at the end of the film. Blame Jamie Lee Curtis.)

    As Ginny, Amy Steel bucks the trend by being genuinely intelligent, possessive of a personality and GASP not a virgin. She out smarts Jason (now fully grown and taking over mom’s murderous ways) at every turn, including a lengthy and suspenseful sequence where she leads him around in the dark, backing up, evading and covering her tracks, while her attacker (practically frustrated) runs around two steps behind. In the end Ginny also gets to use her chosen profession as a child psychologist to put the kabosh on Jason, planting a machete in his neck, while pretending to be his dear, decapitated mom.

    The movie would be probably the best in the series (at least of the “serious” entries) were it not for 1. Being too short, yet padded at the same time. And, 2. Having an incredibly dumb shocker ending that just leaves heads scratching and a bad taste in the mouth.

    Lets move on to the new dimension in terror…

    Friday the 13th Part 3 (In 3-D) (1982)-
    Directed By Steve Miner
    Starring Dana Kimmell and Paul Kratka

    Only mildly annoyed by the machete to the neck in the last film Jason gets up, steals some new clothes and heads back out into the area around Crystal Lake for a bit more carnage. Luckily for him a group of horny “youngsters” are headed to a lake side cabin for a weekend of doping, sexing and… being made available to be easily killed.

    This entry is famous for two things, 1. Jason gets his iconic Hockey Mask (previously sporting a far creepier sack.) And, 2. Being shot in 3-D.

    Aside from those two facts and a couple of creative kills (speargun through the eye, man split in half while walking on his hands, head crushed so hard his eye pops out at the camera, etc.), this is a dull entry into the series. Seemingly warn out after directing Part 2 with quite a bit of flare, Steve Miner gives this one a flat, lifeless look. Part 3 is the film equivalent of “beige.” The lead actor/final girl are bland, the rest of the cast is just annoying and the whole affair just seems tired.

    We can head on over to the final chapter now me thinks…

    Friday the 13th- The Final Chapter (1984)-
    Directed By Joseph Zito
    Starring Kimberly Beck and Corey Feldman

    Picking right up from the last film, the axe is removed from Jason’s forehead and his body is taken to the morgue. After a brief rest Jason is up and ready to continue on his merry way. Fortunately for our old pal (you guessed it) a group of horny kids are headed out to the lake for a weekend of… Blah, blah, blah.

    I consider The Final Chapter to be the best “serious and traditional” entry in the series. It has an undeniable visual style, including some lovely slow-motion shots (notably a breath taking one where a victim is tossed from a 2nd story window only to land on the roof of a car, shattering all of it’s windows, then collapsing onto the ground, in one take), fluid widescreen photography and a tight pace courtesy of veteran genre director Joseph Zito.

    Tom Savini was brought back to kill off Jason (he created the shock ending that thrust Jason unto the world in the first film) and the kills (although fairly heavily edited in most prints) are the best in the series.

    Lastly, the ending (SPOILERS), where the exceptionally good Kimberly Beck, must defend her young brother Tommy Jarvis (Corey Feldman) from Jason is the only one in the series to have any real emotional heft and drama to it. The last sequence is also the only one in the series to come close to matching the delirious melodramatic camp of the original, whereby Corey Feldman transforms himself into Young Jason and viciously hacks at the adult form with his own machete, until all you hear are squishy noises and Tommy’s screams of “Die! Die! Die!” emanating from the soundtrack!

    But, as is often the case with this series, the decentness isn’t to last… With their cash cow seemingly dead, Paramount Pictures scrambled to craft a new beginning for Friday the 13th…

    Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning (1985)-
    Directed By Danny Steinmann
    Starring John Shepard and Melanie Kinnaman

    After putting Jason in the ground “once and for all” Corey Feldman’s character Tommy Jarvis has gone a bit cukoo nutso (and turned into the excessively attractive John Shepard.) Taken to a halfway house for emotionally troubled youths Tommy struggles to deal with his past, as the bodies begin to pile up… Is Tommy doing the killing, or is it a random incidental character that is so illogically shoe horned in AS the killer it’s impossible to fathom how the film ever made it to the screen? Bump, bump, baaaaaaaaaaa!

    Yes, my synopsis does sound wildly different than the ones that came before, but it isn’t. Despite it seemingly having more plot and potential than the others, this one actually has the LEAST amount of both. Murders happen seemingly every two minutes (in fact this entry has the highest body count), thusly characters and people come and go before they even get a cursory first name introduction.

    This isn’t the worst film in the series, but it does come close. Despite having the most boobs and bodies the film is pretty dull. It looks decent, but far to bright for a film of this type. And, really, it just seems to chug along with no rhyme, reason or rhythm until it ends and the lame (BEYOND LAME) twist is revealed.

    Don’t worry though, Paramount realized that no one liked (SPOILERS) Roy the paramedic offing people so in the next one, Jason lives!

    Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)-
    Directed By Tom McLoughlin
    Starring Thom Matthews and Jennifer Cooke

    Tommy Jarvis (now, genre fave Thom Matthews) brings Jason back to life, thereby ushering in a new killing spree at Camp Forest Green (aka Crystal Lake.)

    Although I consider The Final Chapter the best in the series, Jason Lives is my favorite. A lot of people agree with me, mainly because this is the “funny one.” Or at least the one intentionally played for laughs, while still feeling like a true Friday the 13th film.

    Jason Lives is essentially the same old thing you’ve seen before, but with it’s tongue planted firmly in cheek. The movie is not what you would call laugh out loud funny, but in a cheeky, snarky way, the movie pokes fun at all the conventions of the series, while playing up to them gloriously and somehow seriously. The film is visually stylish, the best looking in the series. And the acting is great all around, being also the best in the series in that department.

    The ending is a bit of a let down though, as (SPOILERS) Tommy pretty much just drops Jason back in the lake. But, it’s a solid entry and as I mentioned, my favorite…

    Laughs weren’t loved by audiences at the time however, so the next entry brought us some new blood…

    Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)-
    Directed By John Carl Buechler
    Starring Lar Park Lincoln and Kane Hodder

    A young telekinetic girl named Tina comes to stay at Crystal Lake with her mother and psychiatrist. Tina then unwittingly resurrects Jason, sending him on a murderous rampage…

    Dubbed by fans (for obvious reasons) “Jason vs. Carrie” The New Blood is an ambitious, interesting, but ultimately un-inspired entry into the series. It is also the first film to introduce Kane Hodder as Jason. (He becoming the longest person ever to portray the hulking, silent madman.)

    And what an introduction it is. Jason never looks better than he does in this film. Every previous injury is noted on his gloriously rotting frame. The shot of Jason emerging from the lake, his spine and bones showing through his tattered clothes is particularly inspired.

    However, it would seem Jason’s impressive look was the main thing on Director (and noted special effects wizard) John Carl Buechler’s mind as the rest of the film looks rather tepid. The telekinetic effects are decent, but average, The acting is just so-so. And really, the plot is just a whole bunch of people running around in the woods for no discernible reason and getting whacked by Jason and his increasingly ludicrous array of weaponry (seriously he randomly picks up a saw bladed weed whacker while strolling through the forest.)

    Also, on a sour note, the film once again ends with Jason being plunked down into the lake… Booooorrrrrrrring!

    Now, from the bland decentness of The New Blood we take a little cruise… to the nadir of the series, and Manhattan…

    Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)-
    Directed By Rob Hedden
    Starring Jensen Daggett and Kane Hodder

    A passing boat anchor annoys a giant electric cable at the bottom of Crystal Lake thereby waking Jason from his watery slumber. Voorhees then hitches a ride on the owner of said anchor and drifts… somewhere… somehow, out to a major port by the open sea. Old Jason then hops onto worlds oddest cruise ship (really more like a vast, empty cargo vessel) which is populated with a High School class’s after-graduating party. I’m sure you can guess what happens after that.

    Here we are at the worst of an already not amazing series. This is the one everyone loves to hate, and for good reason. Everything is bad all around. The cinematography is flat and over lit. The acting is sleepy and wooden. The special effects and kills are neutered and bloodless. And, worst of all, Jason is “pussified” in this one by having him scream and speak like a small child in the film’s finale.

    The biggest offense however, comes with the title. Jason spends about ten minutes in Manhattan (passing up DOZENS of victims, to go after only the people from the ship), at the very end of the film. The rest of the movie is confined to the previously mentioned cruise ship, giving everything a plain, samey feel…

    Aside from the awesome poster art (seen at the top of the article), Jason literally punching a guys head off AND “off-screen teleporting” around a disco JUST to fuck with someone, this one is BARELY watchable.

    Realizing this entry was a giant turd Paramount washed their hands of the series and sold Jason off to New Line Cinemas (then owner of the Nightmare on Elm Street and Texas Chainsaw Massacre Series.) The good folks at New Line decided it was time for a change, so they sent Jason from Manhattan, to hell…

    Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)-
    Directed By Adam Marcus
    Starring Kane Hodder and John D. LeMay

    In a cheeky opening sequence, we find Jason (inexplicably back after his death by toxic waste disintegration in the last film, don’t ask) at his old stomping grounds of Crystal Lake. Jason, in typical fashion, chases a beautiful, buxom, towel clad lady out into the forest. Just as she trips and falls and Jason is about to strike, we get our first big surprise in the series… A team of heavily armed military agents appears and lay into the masked killer, finally blowing him into a million pieces.

    Movies over, right? Sadly no. This is where it flies off the tracks. The bits and bobs of Jason are taken to the morgue, where upon the Doctor in charge of his autopsy eats Jason’s still beating, black heart, thusly becoming Jason. The movie then slips into fairly normal territory (aside from Jason having to jump in and out of people’s bodies as they become injured) as Jason cuts a bloody swath through town as he hunts for a living Voorhees relative to be “reborn in.”

    Throw in a laser light show, a weird demon slug thing, a bunch of winking “in jokes”, Erin Grey, and one of the best kicker endings in horror history and that’s Jason Goes to Hell in a nutshell.

    Sounds ok, right? As I liked to say in my Halloween Series review, at least it’s different.

    And, that’s just it though. The movie is different, but in the end just ok. There is potential for a good film in there somewhere, but there’s so much going on, so much making up for past plot holes and logic gaps, that it all just gets sort of weighed down in the process. And, ultimately it’s just SO different and out there and winky that it becomes overtly silly, especially during the Manitou-esque climax.

    It looks nice though. Has the best acting AND characters in the series. And a brilliantly graphic kill early in the film (best seen in the Unrated Cut) do set it apart. I like the movie, but most others don’t.

    Any case, after Jason went to hell, there was nowhere for him to go but up, right? Yes and no. The series literally moved up, to outer space, but this unfortunately caused everything to sink back into the toilet again…

    Jason X (2001)-
    Directed By James Issac
    Starring Lexa Doig and Kane Hodder

    We open with Jason in captivity in some vague military research facility (Where has Crystal Lake been hiding this all these years?) He breaks free, kills a bunch of people, then gets cryogenically frozen. Several hundred years in the future Jason is unthawed on a spacecraft populated by… horny, STUPID teenagers. The usual ensues.

    When a series gets to a point where it’s ripping off direct-to-video dreck (ie Leprechaun 4: In Space and Critters 4: In Space) you know it’s time to either throw in the towel, or start over anew.

    Made during the “development hell” of Freddy vs. Jason (promised at the end of Jason Goes to Hell) Jason X is a mess. Once the novelty of Jason being in space wears off (and it does so VERY quickly) it’s literally the same old same old show we’ve seen 9 times before.

    Sure, there is some cheeky fun to be had and it’s all mostly well acted, shot and paced. But it’s just a going through the motions of cliches. There’s a bit of Alien, Aliens and Event Horizon here and there, mixed in with all the tropes of the Friday the 13th series, but despite how hard it wants to be, it’s just not any fun. And, it’s certainly not scary (the series stopped TRYING for that back with Part 4.)

    Jason X is watchable (as are all the entries) but it’s probably the third worst (behind 8 and 5, respectively.)

    Now would be the time, proper, to move onto Freddy vs. Jason (2003), but I don’t think I’m going to. While the film is GREAT and is a more than decent homage/continuation of both the Friday the 13th and Elm Street series, I am going to leave it until I get to reviewing the Elm Street films. Despite the movie being much more like a Friday the 13th film, anything with Freddy in it, becomes Freddy’s show.

    Any who, realizing there was nothing to do after Jason X and Freddy vs. Jason (besides giving us the promised, but most likely bad Freddy vs. Jason 2) New Line decided to jump on the remake bandwagon (they started) and hit the old reset button on the Friday the 13th series…

    Friday the 13th (2009)-
    Directed By Marcus Nipsel
    Starring Jared Padalecki and Danielle Panabaker

    In a pseudo-condensing, re-hashing of the first 3 films, Friday the 13th Version 2 gives us boy Jason witnessing his mom get her head whacked off. Grown up Jason living in the woods with a sack on his head, then getting his hockey mask. And, a whole lot of Jason doing what he does, ie killing stupid teenagers that dope up and have sex near Crystal Lake.

    I didn’t enjoy the new Friday the 13th. One thing people tend to forget about the tropes of the original early films is, that despite not being all that scary, they at least TRIED to be scary and suspenseful. Also, Jason’s victims, while often horny and irreverent never went about their activities in a knowingly over the top way. The early Friday the 13th films were genuine (and often populated with semi-likable people) and that’s what gave them their charm, for lack of a better word. The new Friday the 13th is trying so hard to include everything you expect from a Friday the 13th film that it becomes a joke (and a sour one at that.)

    It throws two new things into the mix: Jason holding someone captive AND explaining how he’s able to get around faster than everyone else (he travels through a system of underground tunnels.) But, these things are ALL that are brought to the table in terms of “newness.”

    The acting/characters in the film are atrocious and un-necessarily mean spirited. The dialog is as bland as it is knowingly referential to the usual things found in the series’ past. The plot as such is chock full of images and moments from the past films. But, it all is thrown together in a haphazard, poorly paced manner, that just jumps from place to place until it’s all over. The kills are quick and un-Friday the 13th like, all flash and no build up. And, despite the movie longing to homage everything from the originals Harry Manfredini’s classic “Chhh Chhh Chhh Ha Ha Ha” only makes one brief appearance (the rest of the score being “jump” noises and stings.) Oh, and the ending, is one of the dumbest I’ve ever seen (and I have seen A LOT of dumb horror movie endings, I’m looking at you Spontaneous Combustion.)

    (SPOILERS) After being terrorized by Jason for the entire film, seeing their friends get brutally slaughtered by him left and right, the final two survivors “kill” Jason, then in an odd jump cut we find they’ve lugged his giant body down to the lake, where they dump him in (as some sort of proper burial or something.) THEN just to have a kicker, after a beat of silence Jason pops up from the lake, grabs the “Final Girl” and the film cuts to black.

    On the plus side the new Jason actor Derek Mears is good. Rivaling Kane Hodder, in my opinion, for giving Jason the most personality. It seems as though Mears combined Hodder’s brutal intensity with the ruthlessness of Warrington Gillette in Part 2. The cinematography from genre staple Daniel Pearl is effectively moody. And, surprisingly for a new film (even of this type), there is a copious of boob on display.

    Friday the 13th 2.0 is a bland exercise though. Spiritless, witless and charm-free. A remake of a film, in which all 9 of it’s sequels were in essence, remakes. A copy, of a copy, of a copy, of the homage of a copy. Once again, it’s watchable… But… meh.

    The newest installment in the grandaddy of all slasher film series made quite a bit of money though. And, as expected, Friday the 13th Part 2 (Redux) is due out next year. Will it be more of the same? Probably. Will that keep me away? No. In twenty years and 8 or so more sequels down the line will I remake this very article as the series is reset again? Looks like it.

    © BRWC 2010.

  • Film Review with Robert Mann – The Switch

    The Switch **½

    Well, what do we have here? Yet another romantic comedy starring the increasingly bland Jennifer Aniston. Not only that but, after this year’s dreadful The Bounty Hunter, another high concept romantic comedy starring the increasingly bland Jennifer Aniston. A loose adaptation of the short story Baster by Jeffrey Eugenides, which was first published in the New Yorker in 1996 and later included in the 2001 best-of anthology Wonderful Town, The Switch is another film that seems to distinguish itself by its concept – although, after this year’s Jennifer Lopez romcom The Back-Up Plan the set up won’t entirely seem fresh – and also one that boasts some decent talent behind the camera. Just like her previous film, Aniston’s latest boasts some very promising directorial talent in the form of Josh Gordon and Will Speck, the men behind 2007’s Blades of Glory starring Will Ferrell and Jon Heder, a film which still ranks among Ferrell’s funniest in this critic’s opinion. However, as I said, The Switch boasts promising talent just like Aniston’s last movie and in that case director Andy Tennant, who had done such a good job with the Will Smith romantic comedy Hitch, completely failed to make anything even remotely enjoyable. The Switch is not a repeat of Aniston’s last film but given how poor that film was this isn’t really saying much…

    Attractive singleton Kassie (Jennifer Aniston) decides she wants to have a baby. Despite the objections of her neurotic best friend Wally (Jason Bateman), she chooses to go it alone, with the services of handsome and charming sperm donor Roland (Patrick Wilson). Wally has always had feelings for Kassie, but as his friend Leonard (Jeff Goldblum) points out, he missed his chance and she put him in the ‘friend zone’. But things don’t go to plan, as Wally gets so drunk at Kassie’s ‘insemination party’ that he accidentally spills Roland’s handiwork and ends up replacing it with his own. Seven years later, Kassie returns to New York along with precocious – but neurotic – son Sebastian (Thomas Robinson). Wally forms a bond with this loveable mini-version of himself, but the bad news is that Roland in the picture too…

    While The Switch is not a repeat of the awfulness of The Bounty Hunter, it isn’t a return to form for Aniston either, as, while this film boasts an interesting premise that is dealt with a great deal of sensitivity and even (though some voiceover narration by Jason Bateman, mostly in the opening sequence) has some slight philosophical leanings, offering up commentary on the human condition, it is ultimately lacking as a comedy and piece of entertainment. This isn’t to say that the film is bad but it isn’t especially good either, rather being just bland, as is the case with Jennifer Aniston yet again. By and large, few complaints can be made about this film’s cast but Aniston just delivers another bland performance, failing to portray anywhere near the level of emotion that is sometimes necessary in the role and, as a result of this, her chemistry with Jason Bateman is so-so, sparks completely failing to fly between them. It’s a shame because Jason Bateman is quite decent, being perfectly neurotic in his role, and young actor Thomas Robinson perfectly captures all of Bateman’s mannerisms, making us never doubt that his character is Wally’s son. Also, Patrick Wilson is perfectly charismatic and there is amusing support from Jeff Goldblum and Juliette Lewis (as Kassie’s friend Debbie). The film also boasts some good cinematography and editing work, being generally quite technically proficient, but the film is let down by a script that, while being pretty well written and offering up some decent dialogue, is all too low on laughs, much of the humour being subtle and not overtly noticeable, and also missing the crucial x factor that could have transformed this film from average to truly enjoyable. The film doesn’t conform entirely to the standard predictable romcom formula but not being unconventional and being truly good are two different things and sadly The Switch is a watchable film but never anything more than just okay. If this is your top choice to see on a trip to the cinema you may want to consider doing a switch of your own and going with something with a bit more edge to it.

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    Review by Robert Mann BA (Hons)

    © BRWC 2010.

  • Film Review with Robert Mann – Dinner for Schmucks

    Dinner for Schmucks ½

    The journey from production to being released in cinemas has not been an easy one for Dinner for Schmucks. The latest directorial effort from Jay Roach, the man behind the hilarious Meet the Parents films and the (not quite as hilarious) Austin Powers movies, certainly has a lot of talent at its disposal with its cast including such comedy stars as Steve Carell, Paul Rudd and Zach Galifianakis, but rather than seeming like a slam dunk in terms of both film quality and box office potential as you might expect from a film with these credentials, the filmmakers were left reeling following a disastrous response at the film’s first test screening where the audience reacted extremely negatively with the consensus being that the film crossed the line and was “mean-spirited”. You see, this film, inspired by the 1998 French black comedy Le dȋner de cons by Francis Veber, has a premise that essentially borderlines on the offensive no matter how you look at it, its characters making fun of “idiots” just for fun and to an extent us viewers being encouraged to do exactly the same thing. The negative reaction at the test screening prompted the studio, producers, Carell and Roach to take another look at the film and attempt to rework the film to ensure that “the movie didn’t play in mean-spirited fashion” and when this new version of the film had its test screening, the film received a much warmer response and it this version of the film that we now get to see in cinemas. Sadly, however, (to use a somewhat puerile expression) you can’t polish a turd.

    Up-and-coming executive Tim (Paul Rudd) is hoping for a big promotion, but first he has to pass a cruel and unusual test. Every month his boss Lance Fender (Bruce Greenwood) hosts a ‘dinner for idiots’, where he and his cronies each invite an unsuspecting patsy for the sole purpose of making fun of them. Horrified, Tim’s fiancée Julie (Stephanie Szostak) convinces him to skip the dinner, but that’s before Tim bumps into Barry (Steve Carell). A nerdish tax office worker who devotes his spare time to building elaborate dioramas featuring stuffed mice, Barry is the Holy Grail of idiots. Unable to resist, Tim invites Barry to the dinner, but things don’t work out quite as planned. Likeable Barry turns out to be a walking disaster area, and his blundering good intentions soon send Tim’s life into a frenzied downward spiral and a series of crazy comic misadventures.

    Oh dear. All that reworking and Dinner for Schmucks is still the cinematic equivalent of having a lobotomy. Seriously, not only is the film still largely mean-spirited – even though, in the end, things do end on a (relatively) happy note for the “idiots” – but it is also almost entirely unfunny, borderline disturbing – the shots of the Barry showing off his “mousterpieces”, i.e. his collection of taxidermy mice dressed up in outfits, manage to come across as both cute and creepy at the same time – and a criminal waste of good talent. A disastrous screenplay lacking any wit or ingenuity offers up one lame gag and piece of dialogue after another, delivering the worst gag hit rate seen in a comedy for a long while. Only one scene in the entire film made this critic laugh and that one involved Barry meeting a couple of Switzerland and saying that he speaks some of their language before going on to speak like the Swedish Chef from The Muppets. When that is the highlight of a comedy, you just know that it is a complete disaster. The humour on display here is more likely to make you cringe than laugh and pretty much everyone involved should be ashamed to be involved. There again, based on the quality of performances on display here, perhaps they were. Paul Rudd spends most of the film just looking bored and delivers what is perhaps one of his worst performances to date. Steve Carell fares considerably better but, while seemingly trying to be amusing and succeeding to some extent, also comes across as just weak, even if he does make for an all too convincing “idiot”. And no one else in the cast fares any better, with everyone – Zach Galifianakis (as Barry’s fellow idiot boss Therman), David Walliams (as Swiss billionaire Müeller), Jemaine Clement (as artist Kieran who Tim thinks is trying to steal his girlfriend), Ron Livingston (as rival executive Caldwell) and Bruce Greenwood – failing to deliver even on a satisfactory level. Even if the performances were fantastic, however, the combination of dreadful writing and weak direction would likely have still made for a film that is more akin to torture than entertainment. Comedy is supposed to be funny. This film is not. Simply put, Dinner for Schmucks is not a movie but rather a disaster of epic proportions, a film so criminally bad that it is likely that only idiots will actually enjoy it.

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    Review by Robert Mann BA (Hons)

    © BRWC 2010.