Author: BRWC

Made for TV movies are hard to judge. If it’s made for the BBC, then chances are it’ll be better than most things that make it to the local cinema. If it’s a film found at the tail end section of your Skybox however, then you’re likely to find a more entertaining dramatic tale under your fridge. Singaporean writer/director Esan Sivalingam’s supernatural horror, Curse, meanders hazily between the two, delivering a film that is interesting enough yet expectedly flawed.

Essentially it’s Predator, but with two lady ghosts instead of a big ugly crab-man. Much like John McTiernan’s ’89 classic, a group of soldiers are sent to a jungle in search for another army section that went AWOL. When one of the soldiers accidentally disturbs an unholy gravesite, the vengeful spirits of a native woman and her child who were victimized and murdered over a century ago are released upon the island. Unfortunately, the soldiers don’t have Arnie, Jesse Ventura or Apollo Creed amongst their number, so led by a wealthy socialite and a tough spirited female commander, they race against time in a fight for survival while being mentally tormented by the revenge seeking pair of spirits. As the always-expected list of fatalities clocks up, secrets and mysteries of the island are revealed and things are not as simple as the original legend suggests.

After a brooding prologue and a lovely looking credits sequence there’s a certain comedic vibe once the main film gets going, hardly surprising coming from a film maker with a background in comedy television, but it’s during these parts where the film is probably at its most comfortable despite being billed as a horror. Often in far eastern horror, well for me anyway, any humour is always contrived and plainly not funny. I remember watching the critically lauded Korean film The Host by Joon-ho Bong and found myself wincing at its horrendous jokes and cheap laughs more than the actual scares. It could be a cultural thing, but I find it ill fitting of slapstick comedy to find its way into films of this ilk. Somehow, Curse pulls it off…well, kind of. The humour is placed cleverly (and strictly) in the first act, and serves only as a development of personality rather than a running theme that pops up without reason. As a result, the leading characters are all instantly likeable and generally more rounded, if a little random. The ragtag collection of soldiers are exactly that – random. Varying from a historian to a foot masseuse, brief intros for each solider are spelled out early on and it’s pretty clear that these aren’t your normal tough marine types, but just vulnerable ordinary folk doing some National service. As things proceed however, it all seems a little bit pointless to have delivered individual engrossing back-stories for each character considering their inevitable fate. We are of course left guessing as to who made it out alive, but even this is narrowed down within the opening half an hour as the body count piles up in a frantic and frenzied few minutes.

As it’s a made for TV movie though, it’s fairly evident that cold hard cash was limited and as expected, it does show. It’s got that all too digital look about it. The special effects look like someone whipped them up in an afternoon on their laptop using tutorial websites as a guide to make guns fire without the guns actually firing. Couple this with props that look like they’re from Woolworth’s and any sort of hope that these actors pass off as genuine soldiers is immediately lost. This is no real detriment to the film itself though; horror films are synonymous with low budgets and a certain “cheapness”, so it would be overly harsh to kick up a stink over such little things; this isn’t a Michael Bay production after all. One thing detrimental to the film however, is that it just isn’t scary. Again, made for TV audience and watershed limitations presumably restrict this. So rather than the gory, fright fest of a film it should be, we get more of a kid’s campfire ghost story that’s more suited to 1990s Nickelodeon, ala  Are You Afraid of the Dark? (That show was awesome by the way). It develops into a good story though, and despite the acting being a bit pantomime and jungle setting growing gradually boring through the second act, an unexpected twist really picks things up and I genuinely found myself bound with enthusiasm for the film’s denouement.

While it’s not scary, or particularly astonishing to look at, the twist in its story might just be enough to stop it from being awful. Yes it will feel more at home on SyFy rather than a blockbuster movie channel, but it’s decent enough when compared to other made for TV abominations and might just be the film to ease younger movie-goers into this usually intense genre.

Curse is available to purchase on DVD now via Amazon (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Curse-DVD-Carl-Ng/dp/B007KZZ7OW)

Seven-foot meat monsters, flying mustaches, arranged arachnicide, parallel universes, countless floppy jokes and a literal door-knob. Confused yet? That’s exactly how I felt after watching John Dies At The End.

Arranging this film into any sort of coherence is nearing on impossible mostly because the film itself is a mish-mash of varying techniques and ideas that provides the watcher with an empty yet amusing journey of vague symbolism and flappy violence. Imagine Alien, Zombieland and twelve doses of mescaline and you might have an accurate depiction of the opening scene. The rest of the movie makes less sense.

The premise of the film was taken from comedy horror novel of the same title, which in itself proved a hard act to follow, due to the surreal and fluctuating world that author David Wong, or as he goes by ulterior ego Jason Pargin, creates in his writing. The narrative has been described as a goulash of Stephen King, H.P. Lovecraft and the drug induced ramblings of William S. Burroughs, creating a world where reality is bashed on the head, turned upside down and thrown into a spinning universe of confusion and ferocity. Director Don Coscarelli, responsible for other horror delights including Phantasm and Bubba Ho-Tep, perhaps the ideal candidate for the challenge, struggled when trying to convert such a dynamic novel. In an interview, Coscarelli even stated, “that was a battle I was always fighting from the minute I started – how is this going to translate?”

To attempt a synopsis, the story follows David Wong (Chase Williamson) narrating to a journalist, played wonderfully by Oscar nominee Paul Giamatti, his life changing experiences with a drug nicknamed “soy sauce.” Latter to taking the narcotic Wong and his friend John Cheese (Rob Mayes), experience inconceivable psychic powers leading to an unlikely end of the world scenario which surprisingly didn’t become my main concern throughout the film. I was too busy invariably trying to figure out the mini-epiphany I had every time I thought the story might be reaching a conclusion with a bold and symbolic statement, only to be smashed by amusingly distracting, b-movie violence, although I wasn’t complaining.  Taken with a pinch of salt, the shoddy CGI and brazen monster constructions did wonders for the playful nature of this movie’s horror and Wong’s and Cheese’s paranoid and undeniably hilarious interactions, particularly the “hot-dog mobile phone” skit, are a welcome addition to the overall outcome of the movie.

It’s true that Coscarelli does touch upon some momentous and meaningful topics in between the scenes of baffling nonsense and paranoid, drug fuelled monologues. One of those being the reason actor and assistant producer Giamatti was so adamant on making the novel a motion picture. For him, it was the passage in which the bearer of the “soy sauce,” Rastafarian Robert (Bob) Marley, cultivates the notion of how we as humans prove psychic powers in our dreams, being able to sense an event seconds before it happens. This may sound as confused as David Wong’s character, but it’s clear as glass when you watch it, although like so many of the fleetingly profound moments, the idea could be missed by the blink of a bloodshot eye or get lost amidst the turbulent, mutable picture Coscarelli paints.

When the film premiered at last years Sundance festival it received varied criticism, although one thing was clear in that these mixed messages left the words “future cult classic” on many critic’s tongues. I think the only downfall here is viewers taking the experience too seriously. Coscarelli has tried so desperately to hurtle us into Wong’s messed up paradigm and yet make it his own and I think at an attempt he has done well. The important thing is to not forget the tongue, or in this case hole-in-cheek nature of the movie. Aside from this, for horror lovers and critics alike the supposedly modest budget, 80s gore, cheap sci-fi references and gregarious script may have done Coscarelli a favour, with critic Rob Nelson describing it as, “a thoroughly unpredictable horror-comedy – and an immensely entertaining one too.” It’s a journey and a laugh that’s best not to over analyse.

Now all that’s left is the big question, does John die at the end? Well, that’s for me to sit back smugly in the knowledge of and for you to find out. Enjoy.

Richard Burton. Richard Harris. Roger Moore. My word that’s a lot of drunken charm to endure. Personally with this line up they could be touching up a picket fence whilst getting high on paint fumes and I’d still watch it. But in any case: a quick plot run through.

Richard Burton’s mercenary Colonel Allen Faulkner meets with Sir Edward Matheson (Stewart Granger). Matheson wants a deposed, forward thinking African President Limbani (Winston Ntshona) freed from his current captures. Faulkner assembles a team including his old friends Rafer Janders (Richard Harris) and Shawn Flynn (Roger Moore). After a quick boot camp they end up in the depths of Africa where they quickly free the imprisoned leader. But they are double crossed by Matheson who strikes a deal with the new dictator and leaves the team of mercenaries and Limbani to fight their own way out.

Much like Who Dares Wins, which I reviewed recently, The Wild Geese faced it’s fair share of controversy even before it’s release. The production had shot in South Africa at that time still very much in the grip of Apartheid. The general rule of thumb for film makers was not engage with the prejudice white government. In order to get authentic locations the production cooperated with the government. It was also claimed the portrayal of black Africans was less than flattering. So even before it arrived on screens the film had a slightly tainted reputation.

The Wild Geese has an old school action feel to it. Yes it was made in 1978 so it is technically “old” but it was made at a time when action blockbusters and intense thrillers were beginning to set the template for future films. The Wild Geese has the feel of something that would have been made in the late 1950s/early 1960s. Even the films two-part structure of 1) assemble the crew and 2) the mission bring to mind films like The Dam Busters or Von Ryan’s Express. The whole affair does have some remnants of the sort of “it makes you proud to be British” war films of the 40s and 50s. This is very much a film with pretensions of adventure as opposed to a dark tale of mercenaries. Think Predator without the Predator.

Made between The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker, Moore was at the height of his Bond fame doesn’t stray too far away from the 007 formula, maybe just a hint more ruthlessness. Burton and Harris as always are incredibly watchable, even if Burton looks a little long in the tooth to be running around African deserts and jungles.

Harris’ is the only character given any emotional core, leaving behind a son he promised to take on a dream holiday in order to carry out the mission. Harris brings real warmth to the scenes with the boy and in the end makes him the only character you truly care about making it out alive. Amongst all the random shootings and nameless mercenaries being offed we do have time for a political debate between Limbani and Hardy Kruger’s Lt. Pieter Coetzee. Coetzee is a white South African who carries the injured President on his back. Which gives them plenty of time to discuss the future of Africa. Limbani’s soft spoken and sensible minded reasonings eventually bringing around the bigoted killer. It is sort of heart warming in a way.

The Wild Geese is a descent enough watch but by the end of it’s two plus hours you may wander why it took so long to tell this story. As said Burton is watchable as always but seems to be ultimately there to pick up a check. Harris, Ntshona and Jack Watson as a drill sergeant all shine acting wise. Ntshona particularly seems to think he’s in a DRAMATIC film and his performance is all the better for it. Joan Armatrading’s theme tune is also very pleasant if not a little incongruous.

Witnessing the London Iranian Embassy Siege of 1980 producer Euan Lloyd rushed to call his lawyer so he could buy the rights to the title ‘Who Dares Wins’. The title being the moto of SAS regiment who stormed the embassy after 5 days of stalemate. The SAS had until this point been mysterious figures, live TV coverage of the siege had shown the regiment in all their glory and brought about a tidal wave of pride for “our daring boys “. Lloyd cunningly assembled an action thriller which could capitalise and utilise the surge in interest in the SAS. The result of which is Who Dares Wins.

The plot revolves around Captain Peter Skellen (Lewis Collins) who is dismissed from his regiment for torturing and bullying fellow officers. This is merely a clever cover story though to allow him to infiltrate The People’s Lobby; a militant group who’s goal is to end nuclear war. He begins an affair with the head of the group Frankie Leith (Judy Davis). After seeing some of the inner workings of both the intelligence service and the radical group the films final act takes the form of a siege on the U.S. Embassy. Secretary of State Arthur Currie (Richard Widmark) along with other prominent officials are held hostage, which also allows time for discussion with the militants about the notion of nuclear superiority, disarmament and deterrents. This good natured debate is interrupted though as the SAS try to make the climax a more gun totting affair.

Before it was even released Who Dares Wins had already been branded as a nationalistic, right-wing led enterprise. The overall message seemed to be: nuclear weapons = good. Authorities getting results, no matter how = good. On the other hand. Left wing politically minded folk = bad. People who don’t like nuclear weapons/power = idiots. Squint hard enough and you can see cause for this argument. Lewis Collins Captain Skellen is a no-nonsense badass who’s eyes are solely focused on the mission. He’s not adverse to kicking the shit out of someone for information of even just to play along in a ruse – witnessed at the start as he tortures two American officers. In a James Bond world we sort of forgive this because we know it’s fantasy. Who Dares Wins though tries to deal too much with real, politically charged subjects. This gives Skellen an almost unsavoury air making him hard to like. Which is a shame as he is our hero. Reading up on Collins he had apparently auditioned for James Bond but was considered too intense. Watching Who Dares Wins you can see what they meant.

Judy Davis, who would go on to be wonderful in A Passage to India and Barton Fink, puts in a committed performance as one of the heads of the militant group. Always coming across as someone who truly believes in her cause she toes the line between insanity and reasoned argument. Skellen first meets her at an “arty” show in London. You know the type of place where men are dressed as women, people wear lamp shades and people read slam poetry with melons on their feet. It does almost feel like the producers are screaming “look she must be the villain look at how crazy her world is!”. It does also provide an amusing contrast to see Skellen – the crop head and suited gent flirting the Laith – the ragged hair, spike wearing punk. The film never fully makes their romantic relationship believable. Yes opposites attract but other than that there’s no real reason for her to go to bed with him. Unless we should just assume that he’s such a charming devil, who wouldn’t want to sleep with him? Laith is also presented as being from an underground world which is different and unusual to “normal” society. In Who Dares Wins‘ case though this is something that should be feared rather than celebrated.

Despite the plot promise of action and Edward Woodward we get very little of both for the first half of the film. Instead we have covert meetings with secret agents. Political rallies and talk of “action”. All of which can be incredibly interesting subjects but they are dealt with so workmanlike. It’s almost as if director Ian Sharp shot the non-action scenes whilst petulantly bouncing up and down on his chair crying “but I wanna go blow something up now!”. As for Woodward presence as an intelligence Commander – he only appear in about three scenes in the entire film.

The film does pick up steam though as the militant group hijack a bus of musicians who are driving to the US embassy. In quite a cold blooded moment Laith guns down a woman who tries to escape. It’s a great character moment where you realise that she is committed enough to do something very drastic to get her point across. After the initial siege takes places the film slows down again to allow time between Laith and the Secretary of State to engage in a discussion on the pros and cons of nuclear armament. It’s a surprisingly gripping scene. Davis plays her side with anger verging on lunacy. Widmark, quite literally an elder statesman of acting, is cool and not without reason. In what could essentially boil down to a radio show phone in discussion actually becomes the highlight of the film. Down mostly to the two great actors. By this point Collins’ Skellen has faded into the background. Until the SAS infiltrate the embassy. As a climax to a two hour plus action thriller it disappoints on spectacle but there is enough shoot, shoot, bang, bang to keep you entertained.

A surprisingly muted action film with moments of very good acting and dialogue fails to fully utilise the exciting underbelly of the SAS. It’s a much more politically minded affair which gives compelling arguments for both sides. But it has to be said that those early criticisms of the films right-wing leanings are not entirely without merit. Collins is a uncompromising and compelling, if hard to love lead. Davis passionate. Widmark great and Woodward sorely missed.