It’s a truth universally acknowledged that every sensible person loves a good sports movie. Hell, even people who can’t abide actual sport can’t fail to be roused by the Rocky overture or, um, The Mighty Ducks. An occupational hazard in a sports film, though, is the increased likelihood of a bone-crunching or leg-snapping injury, something that is never more clearly illustrated than in the brilliantly visceral, utterly absorbing boxing thriller Bleed For This, available digitally and on Blu-ray and DVD from March 27th courtesy of Icon Film Distribution, and as showcased in the below list of ‘look away now’ moments from sporting cinema:
Bleed For This (2016)
This underdog story starring Miles Teller as you’ve never seen before, documents one of sport’s most incredible comebacks. The film follows the cocky and sure footed Vinny Pazienza (Teller), who teams up with one of the sport’s most celebrated trainers (Aaron Eckhart) in an effort to win world tiles, which he does in style! However, months after the bout which sees Vinny at the top of his game, it all comes crashing down, as he severely injures his spine in a head-on car crash, and doctors tell him he’ll likely never walk again, let alone throw a punch. After some rest time and getting a metal ‘halo’ spine brace painfully screwed and unscrewed from his head, Vinny works on getting back in the ring and defies belief by winning his title bout to win back his championship, to the disbelief of medical professionals across the globe!
Upcoming creature feature Kong: Skull Island stomps into cinemas this week, bringing with it a strong Seventies flavour. From the Apocalypse Now-inspired atmosphere to a retro soundtrack, Warner Bros/Legendary have gone all out to deliver the monstrous companion piece to Jaws the decade arguably never had.
Unusual though it may seem to be taken back to the era of hang glider collars and epic flares, it’s a move that makes more sense than you think. While the Mighty Kong has been going since the Thirties, the really interesting and unique examples of his exploits occurred forty years later.
So take your eyes off Tom Hiddleston’s chest, put on your porn star sunglasses and let’s get funky with some of the Eighth Wonder’s wildest moments…
KONG: THE ICE POP
Kong Pop
Toward the end of the decade, and a couple of years after the derided big screen reimagining, ice cream behemoth Walls decided it was time for a range of frozen treats based on everyone’s favourite primate.
There was only one flavour the makers could have opted for – banana. Well, the beast was also partial to human flesh but this would have been controversial. Sweetening the deal quite literally with toffee, the product was advertised using a comic strip targeted at ape/calorie fans in England.
Ann Darrow’s hairy boyfriend wasn’t the most obvious choice for a kids’ snack, yet has featured on the packaging of numerous edibles over the decades. The Seventies ice pop is a fondly-remembered case in point.
“‘It’s not my fault, and I don’t care anyway’. Say it with me!”
Patrick Spencer (Alan Thicke) is a self-help guru, and a very rich and successful one at that, advocating a philosophy of “Me First” selfishness which, in the Twitter/Selfie age, would no doubt go down a storm. His daughter Diana (relative newcomer Leah Doz) is a recovering drug addict presently receiving treatment in therapy for sex addiction. Brian Calhoun (Quinton Aaron, best known as “Big” Mike Oher from the Oscar-winning The Blind Side) – also known as “Giant Man” – is a heroin addict, indebted to local dealer Johnny “Three-Fingers” Abedayo (former track and field star Jesse Lipscombe). When Johnny enlists Giant Man and the rest of his crew to “boost” Diana (i.e. kidnap her and hold her for a sizeable ransom), will Patrick pay ten million dollars to retrieve his daughter safe and sound, or will he take the opportunity to add gravitas his “It’s not my fault, and I don’t care anyway” credo by holding fast to its values? Can Giant Man stand by to watch Diana suffer? And how will Diana feel if daddy doesn’t pony up the readies?
Alan Thicke
It’s Not My Fault And I Don’t Care Anyway is written/directed by Chris Craddock, based on his own one-man play Public Speaking. It’s also one of the last films to feature the late Alan Thicke, best known for his role as patriarch Dr. Jason Seaver in the sitcom Growing Pains – one of the most watched shows in America in the late eighties – and also of course as the father of Robin Thicke of Blurred Lines fame. Mr. Thicke collapsed and died in December last year whilst playing hockey with his son Carter (who also appears in a brief cameo).
Let’s get the gripes out of the way first: This movie has a tendency to struggle in finding its tone. An early scene in which a sex addict describes a gang of bikers coming all over her is followed briskly by another in which a principal character’s father is knifed to death. It’s Not My Fault And I Don’t Care Anyway presents as a comedy/drama, yes, but it’s really mostly a drama which occasionally flings out a guffaw or two. It doesn’t straddle that line particularly elegantly, and it’s not helped in this regard by that clunky title either, which all but screams “BRITISH FARCE!”. I mean, there are certainly farcical elements within the plot, but it sells the picture a little short to present it as such.
Look past this, however, and the movie’s issues with comedic timing are more than offset by an intriguing story told in episodic flashback, and some fine performances indeed; from Alan Thicke, from Leah Doz, from Jesse Lipscombe and particularly from the incredibly likeable Quinton Aaron. I initially found him to be a strange casting choice as a heroin addict; I have a limited experience of heroin addicts and all of the addicts I know fit the gaunt, hollow-eyed stereotype, and upon first seeing that Brian was being played by the 6’8″, 450lb Mr. Aaron, I literally had to Google “Are heroin addicts always skinny” in order to find that, no, of course they’re not.
It’s Not My Fault And I Don’t Care Anyway is a flawed piece, but persistence will reward the viewer with a movie which hits its targets more often than it misses. It’s a quirky little crime drama, and it’s well worth a look.
It’s Not My Fault And I Don’t Care Anyway is released March 14th.
One of the main differences between a tale, a fable or even a metaphor, and a movie is that none of the former need to be believable and coherent for, at least, 90 minutes. Whereas all the narrations within the first category work because of their simplicity and effectiveness at making a point, the latter is part of another kind of storytelling; and therefore, different rules apply.
The Olive Tree works as a nice tale; something you can tell your children or young brothers and sisters; an idea you can toy with for a while and smile at its senseless romanticism. However, it’s remarkably difficult to apply the Suspension of disbelief for an hour and a half when you are following a young girl going to Germany to pick up a tree and bring it back to her grandfather who has remained mute ever since it was cut from his ancestor’s yard; regardless how ferociously lovely is the girl or how funnily sweet are her travel companions.
The Olive Tree
The Olive Tree follows Alma (Anna Castillo), her uncle Alcachofa (Javier Gutiérrez) and her friend, boyfriend in the making, Rafa (Pep Ambrós) as they embark on a crazy mission from Valencia to Dusseldorf to get back what became the beginning of the end of the family unit once it was taken away from them: grandpa’s millenary olive tree, now the symbol of a shady environmental German company. The mission is doomed from the beginning and right when miraculously some nice German activists have decided to join the Spaniards side and Alma jumps on the tree as she used to when she was a toothless kid, Alcachofa gets the fateful call the audience was kind of waiting for: grandpa’s passed away.
The three amigos make their way back to the Peninsula with sad faces but undefeated: for Alma is carrying a tiny branch of the olive tree which she will plant exactly where it belongs. As Alcachofa points out as they come back: “luckily we brought the truck, no?”
Alma plants the tree and as screenwriting canon requires, the reconciliation of the family pays off.
Now, as much as the actors deliver good performances (they really do an admiring job making the best out of their roles), as much as we would like to believe this beautiful movie, as much as I can’t help finding it difficult to criticize it (being from the same place, physical and spiritually, this bunch of characters are) and as much as we like Paul Laverty as a screenwriter, the truth is that this movie doesn’t quite work story wise. Just like Alma’s character (as lovely as stubborn), it doesn’t go further than a nice premise, a romantic tale or an interesting metaphor. To see Javier Gutiérrez perform is always a pleasure but, honestly, it’s quite difficult to watch a girl from Valencia going to Dusseldorf to pick up a tree and believe it; for 90 minutes.
O’Shea Jackson, otherwise known as Ice Cube, found his fame in the late 1980s as a member of the hard-hitting “gangsta” rap group, N.W.A. After becoming solo, his career has progressed immensely and we now know him better as the entertaining actor who’s been featured in some of the funniest and action-packed films to ever be released. After making his acting debut in John Singleton’s classic,” Boyz N The Hood”, Cube has gone on to be in over 40 movies. He is a very versatile actor, known for his variety of roles and ability to play both light hearted and intimidating roles, seen evidently through his filmography.
While he’ll always be known for his days with NWA, Ice Cube has created a solid resume in terms of his acting career. With that being said here are some of his most famous roles.
Ride Along (2014)
Ride Along was a comedy pairing loved by many and definitely confirms Ice Cube’s on- screen chemistry with comedians. The plot follows security guard and video game enthusiast Ben Barber (Kevin Hart), who is aspiring to be a member of the police force, and join his girlfriend’s brother; hard-nosed Police officer James Payton (Ice Cube). But he does not approve and in order to be considered for the force, Ben has to survive the most insane 24 hours of his life.
