Weekly Round Up: Cruella, Boy George, Indy

3rd June 2019

With Aladdin having just hit cinemas and the “live-action” (seriously, how the feck is that thing live-action?? The Lion King coming out this summer, it looks like Disney are in no rush to slow down on their… ugh, pointless remakes that serve solely to keep toys in high demand.

Indeed, we already know that 2020 will bring with it an update of Mulan – which, admittedly, could be quite interesting – and Cruella, a remake of 101 Dalmatians (and yes, they did do that already, but this is a different one). At this point anything and everything Disney can dust off and make some Cruella cash out of is seems good to go, but one film that’s been suspiciously absent from the remake cycle is the film that made Disney such an icon to begin with.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Disney’s first animated feature (and the first ever feature animation) has never really been a part of the discussion when it comes to these… ugh, pointless remakes that serve solely to keep toys in high demand.

However, it would appear Disney are looking to change that as news broke this week that the House of Mouse are currently developing a new, live-action take on the story, and director Marc Webb, the man behind the brilliant 500 Days of Summer, and the God awful Amazing Spider-Man movies, looks set to take the helm.

Quite what form this new Snow White will take remains a mystery, but we do know that screenwriter Erin Cressida Wilson, who wrote the scripts for both Secretary and The Girl on the Train, is in talks to adapt the Brothers Grimm Fairy Tale, which seems to suggest that this might not be the straight remake so many of these live-action monstrosities have been.

Since Maleficent burst onto the screens in 2014, Disney have really ramped up their output in terms of these remakes, but Maleficent offered a new take on an old story, something the other movies in this cycle can’t really claim to do. Could it be possible Snow White will be getting this kind of treatment? Are we going to focus more on the Evil Queen, or the Seven Dwarfs? 2012 Mirror, Mirror and Snow White and the Huntsman both attempted new takes of the story, but neither failed to really capture audience imagination… could the team Disney are putting together change that?

Probably not. Webb has made three films and only one of them is any good, but Wilson’s involvement at least suggests something interesting. We’ve also learned that the film will feature new songs, written by La La Land’s Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, so… we’ll see.

Speaking of movie trends that won’t seem to die, a new music biopic is on its way. After the inexplicable success of last year’s Bohemian Rhapsody and this year’s Rocketman (seriously, guys, why do you keep going to see this crap? Watch Walk Hard: The Dewy Cox Story, and then be done with all of them) it looks like MGM are keen to jump on the band-wagon with their own music biopic, all about… Boy George…

Okay, fine. Whatever. I don’t like any of these things, really, anyway, so if you’re into it then I guess we just don’t share similar tastes.

The film itself will apparently be written and directed by Sacha Gervasi, who recently helmed the HBO movie My Dinner with Herve, and will reportedly star Game of Thrones’ Peter Dinklage as Fantasy Island star Herve Villenchaize, because… I don’t know. Sod this movie.

In a shocking turn of events (…) it seems studios have failed to learn absolutely anything in terms of how to make a good movie, as much like every other music biopic that gets pushed out without much thought, this one will focus on George’s ENTIRE life, rather than just an interesting segment that would make a story worth telling.

But, again… what do I know? Or Cruella?

Finally, this week we got some interesting news about the Indiana Jones movie that supposed to be coming out in 2021. Director Stephen Spielberg is currently working on his West Side Story movie, but is still attached to direct what will be the fifth entry into the Indiana Jones feature film series, and will reportedly see Harrison Ford once again return as the whip-cracking, snake-hating archeologist who barely digs.

Given that Ford will be 79 when the film comes out, it looks like that this will be his last outing as Dr Henry Jones (although we were told the same about Last Crusade… and then… *shudder*… Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, so don’t believe a word of this), and with that in mind Ford was asked who he’d like to see replace him in the title role.

Ford responded with “Nobody! Don’t you get it? I’m Indiana Jones!”, which either seems to suggest Ford is, rightly so, not behind the idea of recasting, or that he’s finally lost it and believes he’s the fictional character he’s been playing all these years. Either, or… Take your pick.

Chris Pratt has been touted as potentially picking up the mantle (before him was Shia LaBeouf but, er… that didn’t go down to well), and Ford didn’t seem too eager on that either, although he referred to Christ Pratt as Chris Pine, so maybe he was drunk? Who knows. Cruella?

Cruella would approve.

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