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Like every clear-thinking, warm-blooded creature on the planet, I’m a fan of Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone. They both succeed in being consistently beautiful, charming, smart and sassy, inciting a tumultuous mix of envy, desire and wanting them to be your BFF.

With this in mind, I was very excited last November, when I saw the trailer for Gangster Squad. “Ooh!” I said, turning to my friend, “that looks awesome!” Ryan and Emma playing sexy 1940’s film noir characters? A battle for the soul of Los Angeles? Sean Penn as a mob boss? Yes please.

Skip forward three months, and it’s been a struggle to write this review. I saw Gangster Squad last Wednesday, but I’ve only just got around to pulling out my laptop and putting fingers to keyboard. It’s not that I don’t have an opinion about the film; it’s that my opinion ranges between “meh” and “well… that was a bit disappointing.”

Admittedly, it looks great: a 21^st Century take on the gritty yet slick, high contrast film noir style. Gosling and Stone look stunning, whilst Josh Brolin (as “good cop in a bad world” Sgt. O’Mara) appears like an old school superhero, his rugged features smoothed over into a shiny comic book cover. The shoot-outs are equally pretty, but it’s nothing we haven’t seen many times before, with a final slow-mo firefight in a lobby heavily reminiscent of the Matrix.

The problem with this film isn’t that it’s badly made, it’s that it’s dull. The plot is gangster-movie-by-numbers: pulling together a group of vaguely maverick cops to try to take out an evil mob boss, who meet with some success and some failure and in the end everyone goes home with a slice of cake. The characters are straightforward and simplistic, with the actors never being forced to move out of first gear. Considering director Ruben Fleischer was behind 2009’s Zombieland, which took a tried and tested film formula and put a cheeky, self-aware twist on it, it’s a shame he didn’t pull a similar trick with Gangster Squad. Instead we have something which is all style, minimal substance; watchable but not exciting.

A middle-aged man injecting himself with deadly snake venom for the quest of immortality may sound like something out of a cheap sci-fi movie, but in fact this absurdity is the focus for Vice’s most recent documentary, Venom Superman.

The story follows 46-year-old Steve Ludwin, a self-confessed venom consumer who claims his reptilian habits give him preserving powers and an extended youth. Although this takes the backbench as one of Vice’s less paramount and politically intent films, it does make for an interesting watch whilst also highlighting some remarkable specifics about the effects of his risky fixation.

Initial impressions of Ludwin are somewhat shocking and it can be hard to believe that he is anything short of a lunatic, with footage alternating between his crude, congealed blood spelling of ‘red rum’ and an overplay of Ludwin stating, “I don’t have a medical background, I have no fucking idea what it’s doing to my body.” Not the most convincing of openings. However, as the narrative unfolded, surveying his youthful aura and learning of his impeccable immune system, I was left wondering if this disarming man is not as psychotic as originally thought.

Like other Vice films such as Swansea Love Story and Interview with a Cannibal, the reporter remains anonymous and silent throughout, casino allowing the viewer to be immersed in Ludwin’s story and it’s a perplexing one at that. As we follow the typical routine, it’s difficult not to feel a little admiration towards the boldness of Ludwin’s meticulous and varied injection technique as he prepares numerous diluted and clinically life-threatening forms of venom. Due to his charismatic nature and cheery energy it’s sometimes easy to forget the stupidity proved in many of his actions, even his two brushes with death.

However, while the viewer continues to follow Ludwin’s weekly routine, the word placebo comes to mind as scenes cut to him claiming his vigorous energy and serpent-like skateboarding latter to taking the “drug.” It almost seems like something out of Spiderman, as the camera shows him weaving in and out of traffic on his skateboard, stating, “when I’m skating I’ve actually learned how to start moving like a snake.” But while some of his stories depict those of a man too far into a loose and threatening obsession, what begins to disclose are some interesting and valid scientific details, especially the layer behind Ludwin’s motivation, Bill Haast. We discover the director of the Miami Serpentarium Laboratories, living to over 100 years old and never being sick in his life, claimed all his attributes in debt to the consumption of snake venom. Ludwin ends his account with knowledge of recent test results showing copperhead venom to inhibit the growth of cancerous cells, a miraculous and rather significant finding.

Taken out of context, I would not give any other consideration aside from Ludwin being a man indulging in a misogynistic, god-like fantasy that will result in his demise. However, Vice’s intelligently backed-up narrative and affectingly intriguing subject matter have pulled me in; after watching and being presented with an almost made-up drug that could theoretically become a defining cure for cancer, I was left wondering whether perhaps Ludwin and Haast alike are not completely out of touch after all. While you might not find me smuggling “pet” snakes across the Chinese boarder, with some extended research I would not be so adverse to the concept of consumable youth. Ssssssssign me up, Ludwin.