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  • Short Circuit Review

    Short Circuit Review

    By Daniel King.

    Another fondly-remembered kids movie that’s in line for a 21st century remake, Short Circuit was directed by journeyman John Badham and originally released in May 1986. It stars Ally Sheedy, who also appeared in Badham’s War Games three years earlier, and Steve Guttenberg, who was the grand poobah of middle of the road American comedies until Tom Hanks came along and proved to be less annoying.

    Unsurprisingly, for a film made in Ronald Reagan’s America, it deals with military technology, specifically a prototype robot that has been developed for combat duties. On the day when the project leaders (Guttenberg and Fisher Stevens) are demonstrating their new hardware to assorted bigwigs, one of the prototypes – Number Five – is struck by lightning, giving it ‘life’ Frankenstein-style. Newly sentient Number Five wanders happily off as the army boys charge around trying to retrieve him, eventually making his way to the home of Stephanie Speck (Sheedy), a kooky animal-loving hippy activist type. Initially taking him to be an alien, Stephanie teaches Number Five about Earth and, sigh, what it means to be human.

    John Badham was, and probably still is, a consummate professional who made a career out of delivering slick mainstream movies – BLUE THUNDER, STAKEOUT, BIRD ON A WIRE, they’re all his – so it’s no surprise that this too is a slick mainstream movie. That said, it is breathtakingly winsome: Number Five (while a magnificent creation by the effects team, led by Syd Mead who worked on BLADE RUNNER and ALIENS) is so twee he makes R2D2 look like the Terminator. At one point, Stephanie teaches him to dance and as they hoof round her living room he croons ‘More Than a Woman’ to her.

    Naturally it all ends happily ever after with the status quo not so much restored as reinforced with concrete, the message being ‘good things happen to nice middle-class white people who then do the decent thing and get married and have lots of middle-class white children’. There are only two ethnic characters in the whole movie: one is Ally Sheedy’s housekeeper and the other is played by a white actor adopting a comedy Indian accent that would make Peter Sellers blush. In fact the whole enterprise is so conservative it might as well have ‘Vote Republican’ roll across the screen every five minutes. If you’re getting the impression that I didn’t like it then you’d be right on the money but then it’s not aimed at the likes of me so whatever I might think of it as entertainment is by the by. That doesn’t mean to say though that I can’t find the sensibility at work behind a film like this appalling.

    The film director and noted Marxist Alex Cox once said that if you’re a fascist in Hollywood then you work with great regularity and that since he was not a fascist, he didn’t. Now, I don’t know if John Badham was or is a fascist, but I do know that he worked with great regularity in Hollywood, probably because he gave them exactly what they wanted: films that were delivered on time, on budget and that made a profit. I can’t put my hand on my heart and say that Short Circuit is a bad film: it has one or two good laughs, a couple of rather sweet moments and it’s performed with enthusiasm but it is an example of why in the main I find mainstream Hollywood films uninteresting – never at any stage does it even remotely look like it’s going to do anything other than exactly what you expect it to.

  • Scoring The Silents (FLASH – This Thursday!)

    Scoring The Silents (FLASH – This Thursday!)

    A recently restored BFI archive film from the silent era of the 1920s is to be presented to audiences of The Space with a new soundtrack by the New Radiophonic Workshop.  Flowers of London, will be published on The Space on February 7.  Part of a series of silent shorts, Flowers of London is a poignant evocation of London – the city’s dirty streets contrasting with images of flowers, a symbol of hope throughout the film. The New Radiophonic Workshop, led by composer Matthew Herbert, brought in sound-effects experts alongside award-winning writer Laura Wade to add new dimensions to the film.  Viewers have complete control of their listening experience and can choose their own combination of sound-effects, music and narrative.

    Flowers of London is one of six films in the series Wonderful London, which were restored by the BFI National Archive and offer a fascinating glimpse of London life and images during the mid-1920s.  Flowers of London is the centrepiece film in a trilogy on The Space which explores creating soundtracks for silent classics.

    Visitors to www.thespace.org  will be able to play with sound effects, narrative and music to create different soundtracks to Flowers of London –audiences can customise their own experience by deciding which soundtrack or combination of soundtracks the film should have, choosing to hear the New Radiophonic Workshop’s full mix or to use the player to select from the seven different combinations.

    Here are some lovely images.

    NEWSFLASH – GOING LIVE THIS THURSDAY!

    This Thursday 7th February, for the first time ever, a recently restored BFI archive film, Flowers of London, from the silent era of the 1920s is to be presented to audiences who are invited to create a new soundtrack by the New Radiophonic Workshop.

    The New Radiophonic Workshop, led by electronic composer Matthew Herbert, brought in sound-effects experts alongside award-winning writer Laura Wade to add new dimensions to the film.

    Viewers have complete control of their listening experience and can choose their own combination of sound-effects, music and narrative.

  • SCENES OF THE CRIME BLOG-A-THON: Burn After Reading

    SCENES OF THE CRIME BLOG-A-THON: Burn After Reading

    By Ben.

    Remember that quiz show Catchphrase ? I was always frustrated by the bonus screen. Every time a contestant guessed a catch phrase correctly they’d be able to reveal another square of the “bonus catch phrase”. Piece by piece the picture was revealed. Slowly, agonisingly and sometimes hilariously the image came into view. Your average Catchphrase contestant was no genius (if you enjoy screaming at the television, this is the show for you) but these bonus puzzles could be pretty hard. And I have to admit, I’m not sure most of them were even catch phrases at all.

    “What’s Mr Chips doing there?”
    “Er…Bus ticket?”
    “Riiiiiiiight!”

    ..Wait, what?

    Either way, you always knew you’d get it eventually or, if not, the answer would be revealed at the end of the round.

    Sometimes films can be like that. Sometimes you’re no more enlightened two-thirds of the way through than you were at the start. You don’t mind, however. You know the pieces will all come together eventually; the puzzle will be revealed. The squares might give you an answer, maybe a question or perhaps just another mystery.

    Sometimes though…sometimes you get none of these things. The square fades (I like to imagine it doing so in a glorious 90’s pixelation fashion) and what is it that’s staring back at you from whence it stood? A big fat “LOL”. Yeah that’s right, the film is laughing at you. You might not even notice at the time but later on, or maybe the next day, you’ll think back and shed a small tear as you realise that the mean film laughed at you and you just sat there and took it. Pathetic! What were you thinking?!

    I’ll tell you what you were thinking: “Cohen Brothers? All right! Gotta get me some of that!”. Completely forgetting you thought the same thing before carelessly spending two hours of your life watching No Country For Old Men in much the same way as Liverpool spent £20 Million to have “No football for Robbie Keane” playing at every home game. At least Liverpool got some of their investment back though.

    Don’t worry, that’s the first and last time I’ll mention the Cohens (and football!). Too many a critic can forget they are reviewing a film and not it’s directors (or their past work)

    So the film begins – as you would expect – awkwardly. Osborne Cox, played by John Malkovich, finds out he’s being laid off and proceeds to, for want of a better expression, go loco. Malkovich appears to possess an extraordinary skill; he can remain dull even when shouting and swearing at full volume. Off the top of my head, I can’t think of another actor who can do this. Keanu Reeves might have this skill but let me know when he takes a role that involves more than short mumblings and action sequences.

    So we’re forced to listen to Malkovich pronounce “memoirs” annoyingly ( if you’re speaking English, speak English!) and we’re introduced to a few of the other characters.

    George Clooney’s character is, at first, irritating. Soon, though, you develop a certain liking of him. Maybe it’s out of pity but he quickly becomes the most interesting person on the screen and remains so for the rest of the film. Clooney really impressed me in this movie as did Brad Pitt. In fact, all in all, it’s a fairly tight set of performances from everyone. Nobody seems to be in their comfort zone, or so you would think, but they all come out looking as if they were made for their roles (or vice versa). Yes, even Mr. Malkovich becomes watchable.

    Frances McDormand’s Linda is borderline hateful but I think she teeters just on the right side of likeable. And it is around her that the core plot revolves. She needs plastic surgery you see. And she thinks she’s just landed on Free Parking at Hotel Michael Jackson. She and her dim-witted colleague, Chad (Pitt), happen upon a CD containing Cox’s memoirs which they think is Government secrets. The most hilarious part of the movie soon takes place in which they call the out-of-work CIA analyst and tell him they have his disc. Cue visits to the Russian Embassy, love triangles (or squares, or pentagons; it gets quite complicated!) slapstick gags and general buffoonary all round! It’s not all fun and games though, which you realise towards the end.

    That’s the sad thing about this film; it has many funny moments and the over-all plot, with intertwined sub-plots, is interesting and draws you in. The comedy, the sharp screenplay and the fine acting are not enough. Ask a 7-year-old what every story needs and even they will be able to tell you: Beginning, middle, end. Simple. The problem is that somehow, somewhere, the whole thing falls apart. We’re promised so much but by the end of the (disappointingly short) 90-odd minutes we are let down. A quick-fire series of events, shoe-horned-in plot-line closure and then…well…it just ends. There’s no ending but it definitely ends. Those bonus squares are teasingly torn away throughout and you feel the build up to something special (or at the very least funny!). But the last few squares fade and…that’s right: “L.O.L.”. All of them. But they come so quick that before you’ve even realised the film is mocking you it’s too late. You fell for it. Hook, line and sinker. Interesting, developed, high-potential characters are whimsically killed off and the rest go through the motions seemingly for the sake of bringing the story to a termination and no other reason.

    You walk away wanting to know two things: “Can I have that hour and a half back, please?” And “Where can I get one of those machines for my basement?”

    If you haven’t seen this film I find it difficult to recommend. On the other hand I feel that the superb comedy moments it offers and excellent performances might just be worth it if you can cope with the clumsy climax. Watch if you must but beware!; If you do, make sure Grandma’s out of the room when the final credits role and you say what you see.

    5/10

  • Tulpa: A Rousing Of Classic Giallo

    Tulpa: A Rousing Of Classic Giallo

    Tulpa is a word derived from ancient Tibetan Buddhist origin, referring to a time in which the practitioner creates a sentient being through the power of meditation and thought.

    It’s also the name for rock star turned director, Federico Zampaglione’s newest triumph, first movie release since his well received Shadow in 2009. Premiered at Frightfest 2012, it soon became one of the hottest acts of the day as a clear homage to early Giallo-style cinema, mixing Italian eroticism with crime, mysticism and a dash of slasher gore. It’s true that at times the acting is amplified and the subject matter a little smutty, but what Giallo crime thriller isn’t? Although Zampaglione was not quite expecting to generate such laughs at the premiere, the film still contains some excellent backdrops as well as a true to the theme soundtrack and a surprisingly enthralling plot unfolding that will leave you questioning “whodunit?”

    There is a fine balance between the elegant, business role of Lisa, played by the sultry Claudia Gerini, and her underground escapades, a private Buddhist club aiming to reach Tulpa through group sex, mirroring the independent and sexually charged characters who would have originally been played by the likes of Edwige Fenech and Ida Galli. This esoteric practice is the gateway to the film’s many blood red-hued erotic scenes as the feature manages to maintain a steady amount of nudity throughout, more so than would have been seen in heavier censored Giallos such as Deep Red and the original The Evil Eye.

    The narrative progresses into a murder mystery, beginning with the death of three Tulpa members Lisa had recently encountered. At fear of scandalising her career, she collaborates with affiliate Stefan (Ivan Franek) to hunt down the killer who rampages in what seems like a plot to strip Lisa of everyone she holds close. There’s no denying the barbaric ferocity and yet theatrical comedy of the torture scenes including a barbed wire merry-go-round, live rat torture box and a woman in the throws of a bondage session being presented with her lover’s removed genitals, a bound winner for devotees of b-movie gore. The killer in the movie, although not innovative, with fragrances of the original My Bloody Valentine and I know What You Did Last Summer, still brings back the teenage nostalgia of a good old slasher and at times I found myself shouting at the screen, “run you idiot!”

    Though the movie received mixed reviews, some loving the crude spiritualism and two-dimensional characters, others yawning with an attitude of “seen it all before,” what is clear is that Zampaglione has managed to resurrect the aura of a classic Giallo thriller whilst adding his own modern coils, crafting this film as a dream for those who get their kicks from vintage horror. If that doesn’t float your dark and scary boat then I think we should take a break. It’s not me, it’s you.

  • A Little ‘The Canyons’ Self-Interrogation

    A Little ‘The Canyons’ Self-Interrogation

    ‘…a piece of string

    and a rock to wind the string around’

    A little The Canyons Self-Interrogation

    by Pablo D’Stair

    PABLO D’STAIR:      I know you’d said you were going to refrain from chiming in on The Canyons anymore until it sees official release, so I appreciate your coming out to chit chat. It just seems to me, with the attention to the film of late, that it so fits in line with your oft stated opinion about films and their audience, you should be broached for comment.

    pablo d’stair:    That the proper audience for a film doesn’t show up until the picture is a number of years old?

    PD:      Yeah (thanks for keeping succinct with the theory there this time, I appreciate it). I guess I figured in the climate of contemporary cinema, you must find yourself of two minds about that—with meta aspects of audience-participation so entrenched in things from conception and all, these days.

    pd:       Films are more and more a split-brain thing, I suppose—or at least consciously to audience and makers.  And I am of two minds about it, as I have been of two minds regarding aspects of The Canyons since my limited and peripheral interactions with it began.  Because you’re correct to speak of it as a meta-film, a film even more-than-meta perhaps, one which seems to be bent on being ‘interfaced with’ even ‘reviewed’ completely a priori. I admit I have to wonder if it isn’t so much a matter of The Canyons, like all films, having to wait for ‘proper audience’—audience coming to it removed from fresh-release-expectations, discovering it the way one would a piece of cinema from ages ago, no merit to consider but the film itself—or that it’s a film distinctly designed to exist for two audiences.

    PD:      Because—not to put words in your mouth—there is an entire life to it, already, it is altogether an extant thing despite no public having viewed it. And this is far from accidental. Part of, maybe, the ‘post-Empire’ aesthetic those who made it are so wrapped up in.

    pd:       Post-Empire is something I’ve come to more earnestly consider and appreciate as an actuality due to The Canyons, frankly. When I first became cognizant of that term being bandied around, I was a bit…dubious. It struck me, initially, as just a new word for ‘underground’ or ‘punk’ or whatever, and in it seeming a kind of rehash of an always existing ‘movement’ in all art, I was bugged by it trying to, as I saw it then, pawn of a freshness.

    PD:      No more?

    pd:       Not so much. It isn’t, for example (or so it seems to me) the same animal as ‘punk’ or ‘outsider’ art, quite the contrary. While ‘punk,’ to stick with one term, has to it a sense of ‘Fuck off, we don’t need your establishment or approval,’ ‘post-Empire’ has a bit more angst-ridden a subversiveness to it. It seems to say ‘Fuck off, sure—but know that we are exactly the establishment you are and belong in the establishment and to be regarded in the establishment’s terms just as much as anything else’—an aggressive head, not wanting to build its own world and rule set, but to strangle an…a kind of admission out of those it might rub raw.

    PD:      Whereas punk or underground turn their back of the traditional or hep, post-Empire is a statement that to turn ones back on IT is a kind of lie, a willful taking on of a tacit involvement with a status quo?

    pd:       Eh. Sounds blowhard and…roundabout…the way you put it there, so let me side step to give a better, more exact flavor to what I mean.  It seems in a lot of contemporary cinema—from inception through pre-release—there is a need for spin, for a kind of narrative to accompany the film’s arrival—nothing to do with the film or the artists or the commentary of the artwork, as a whole, but a narrative-reason to get people to come to the film and to view it through the filter of a spin-doctored mindset.

    PD:      Lies?

    pd:       Lies, yeah—or at least bullshit.  The Canyons, for example, it never (to my memory) touted itself as even a ‘Lindsay Lohan film,’ let alone did it suggest its existence had anything to do with a redemption narrative for the actress, professionally or personally. Now, it could have, it could have gripped on to that spin and sought to control those elements to have an approaching initial audience consider that line the way the producers and filmmakers might like, to some generally positive, warm-hearted effect. The Canyons didn’t do that, though—so the awaiting public supplied it for themselves (minus the warm heart, largely).  Not given a behind-the-scenes storyline to fall in step with, a storyline prestidigitated itself out of the collective-unconscious of contemporary US film watcher.

    PD:      But surely a kind of pre-narrative was given—the crowdsourcing method of funding, the teaser trailers?

    pd:       Too much about the Art, too inside-the-loop for a casual orbiter of the thing.  See—we’re all over the place here, but I will press on—the game of the teaser trailers was an in-joke for people interested in Film (the art form), but it was people interested in Films (the product, the currency) that needed a pre-game, the teasers not quite filling it (filling it a crumb, but no meat). Why I say that a proper audience won’t show up for any film until a film is a bit older is because until that time the question of the film trying to ‘get something’ (in the form of money or accolades or fame or whatever) is too much with people watching it. ‘I wouldn’t pay to see this,’ is a statement that is sadly second nature to make when it seems the film is trying to get back its investment.  But when a film has just been around, when it can be viewed any number of ways (even if these involve money, technically) it just doesn’t have the same imperative—no one is mad that they spent five bucks to rent Enemy At The Gates, one way or another: if they don’t like it, they just say why, for what aesthetic, response-based reason they didn’t, not because they’re annoyed Jude Law and Ed Harris might be getting a cut of the rental fee.

    PD:      Sure.  But you say—and I agree—the filmmakers wanted this a priori storyline of ‘baseless interaction and review’. You mean that, in your view of things, they just didn’t want to be the ones to supply it?

    pd:       Right. The first audience is the audience-wholly-outside-the-film, the pop culture commentators, the armchair theorists—they would rather not have specifics, because those ruin the fun of What If?  To make (again, in my understanding of the term) a post-Empire comment though, the folks involved in making the film could neither seek to defend or inflame the views developing—it would be wrong to, because (as with all established, ‘hep films’) these unfounded-views etc. need to exist, it’s a form of audience interaction. By the filmmakers leaving out a ‘defensive posture,’ the statements (as anyone can see) that the pre-audience are arguing and defending are entities entirely existing only in their own fabricated imaginations. Which is very, very interesting to observe.

    PD:      To use a polite phrase.

    pd:       It doesn’t matter what is said before a film releases, but it is undeniable that a fuck-lot of people have their industry in doing just that—casual, hobbyist, professional—it would not be post-Empire to ignore that or avoid it, that would be ‘underground’ or ‘outsider’.

    PD:      I follow.  And the second audience?

    pd:       Will find The Canyons on a shelf in two years and watch it in the casual way one might watch anything that doesn’t have its feet to the coals of immediate expectation.  It will be viewed as a film, purely. Nothing earth shattering. No commentary. I mean, I can watch a controversial film or one that had a lot of expectation when first released twenty-years later, but it’d be silly if I was wrapped up in the two decade’s old debate.

    PD:      Like a teenage in 2013 who won’t shut up about The Beatles being the most important, influential band of all time?

    pd:       Exactly, right. Kind of…I guess.  My own feeling—likely not shared by the filmmakers, because I’m clearly off in my own left field—is that to let the audience incite their own pre-film-existing narrative (both positive and negative) allows the film to skip past, or at least shorten, the immediate waste of time (my opinion) or early reviews and blurbs and ‘thumbs up or down.’ The majority of first-viewers of the film will see what they have already seen in their head—barring that, many will be simply left deflate that the film was nothing at all like what they expected.

    PD:      How will you be able to watch it? Out of curiosity—is your ‘involvement’ and pointed pre-interest going to be a detriment?

    pd:       It will sully the ‘pristine viewing experience,’ initially, sure (if there is still such a thing). I will not be Pablo-watching-a-film, I will be Pablo-dissecting-and-dismantling a pre-review. Which is not altogether unpleasant.

    PD:      And what do you expect of the film?

    pd:       Don’t know. A thriller. But, see, that is a loaded thing. As a genre, it does not lend itself to hype or pre-examination, the thriller.  Especially something with an erotic element (however much it is or isn’t there in the final analysis of the actual film). Folks went in to Eyes Wide Shut expecting, I don’t know, full frontal and cum shots of Tom and Nicole, so it was ages before most people could get perspective and watch the film that was made.  If you’re ‘in suspense’ waiting to see how explicit the sex is, the actual suspense of the film is largely ignored—like being a teenager renting soft core ‘mystery/thrillers’, who cares what the movies are about, the real intrigue is ‘are we going to see tits and ass?’

    PD:      And if you’re watching, consciously, ‘James Deen acting a part’ or ‘Lohan doing a scene’ then you aren’t, cleanly, watching the film.

    pd:       Sure. And that’s going to happen. And The Canyons knows it.

    PD:      Okay—I want to take one more track before you have to split, and that has to do with the film being looked at as a micro-budget film. Which it is. But if there is ever anything you are of two minds about, it must be the fact that particular attention is given The Canyons on that front.

    pd:       I watch many, many, many films that are micro budget—of all genres, lengths, etc.  Most are superb. But to the typical, lay, contemporary American audience, the notion of smaller budget is synonymous with ‘shitty’—and if one is not shitty, it’s for some miraculous reason.  I, personally, expect more from a film with the budget set low—not talking about The Asylum here (though I do love the lads and ladies at The Asylum)—because it sets the thing up to be art, to be rough-refined, to have actual edge and imperativeness.  So, yes, I have noted a kind of…both defensive use of the term ‘micro budget’ (as though it will excuse some defect, allow perceived flaws to be set on one side) and also a kind of aggrandizing, neither of which I dig.

    PD:      Aggrandizing on the part of the filmmakers?

    pd:       To be straight, yes.  ‘The film looks like it cost ten million to make’ and such things (I paraphrase that, I’ve heard several such statements), the quality measured in terms of financing and all.  But, let me be really fair: this does return to the post-Empire discussion. Because many micro-budget filmmakers are, and want to be, ‘punk’ and ‘underground’ and relish in the fact that there will be a certain physicality to their films particularly because of what equipment (pre-during-and-post production) they have access to (or don’t)—these filmmakers eschew the gloss even of excellent ‘hep films’ because they find it to be unneeded. My heart is there. The post-Empire kick of The Canyons, it seems to treat the micro-budget more as a von Trier-ian obstruction: it is part of the statement and artistic challenge to play inside of the traditional, common-audience aesthetic without the traditional funds and reach to easily achieve such.

    PD:      And this is you saying ‘so that takes the curse off it’? Or this is you being really nice and playing your own bit of spinning pre-audience expectation?

    pd:       Well, I’m imbued in the pre-film as much as I’m in honest anticipation of the film just being out there, so it has to be a bit of both.

    PD:      If it’s shit will you call it shit?

    pd:       You’re asking if I’m bought and paid for?

    PD:      Seems appropriate. You have a whoreishness about you. What is it Mamet says? ‘And you think you’re a ballerina because you work with your legs?’

    pd:       And it seems just as appropriate to stay mum on that point.  Ask me again in two years.

    PD:      I’ll do that.