Two Hands: Review

26th June 2021

Two Hands: Review. By Sharmin Paynter.

Guy Ritchie’s 1998 genre-bender, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, might have inspired a wave of late 90s comedy crime films. But for every Lock Stockmob boss, flash of ultraviolence, and multiple or intersecting storyline, Gregor Jordan’s 1999 debut Two Hands confidently goes toe to toe. Superficial similarities are obvious: Lock Stock’s Eddy owes £500,000 to mobster Hatchet Harry; Hands’ Jimmy owes $10,000 to gangster boss Pando. When it comes down to the wire, it’s the hyper-Aussie vernacular that makes Hands uniquely endearing.

Hands is named after charming protagonist 19-year-old Jimmy (Heath Ledger), who isn’t sure what he wants to do in life – maybe ‘something with his hands’. The flick opens with the ghost of Jimmy’s brother (‘The Man’) who philosophises to the audience about life, death, and fate. Then we’re introduced to Jimmy, who’s facing execution at the hands of frustrated mob boss Pando (Bryan Brown). In true crime flick style, chronology is thrown to the wind as we rewind to find out why Pando’s so pissed. We see Jimmy working at a Kings Cross club, and two life-changing events start to unfold. Pando asks him to do a job; and a friend introduces him to baby-faced bottle-blonde Alex (Rose Byrne). Jimmy bumps into Alex the next day on his way to see Pando.

Alex is taking photos with her Minolta SLR. When he offers to take her picture, she smoulders through the lens and disarms him completely. Later in Pando’s office, Jimmy’s instructed to take a car and deliver $10,000 of hot cash to a contact in Bondi. But it’s not just any car. It’s a purple XA GT Ford hardtop that belongs to Acko, Pando’s number two guy. When the contact doesn’t answer the door, Jimmy heads to the beach. He thinks he can see Alex in the water, so he buries the cash in the sand while he goes swimming. Unfortunately for Jimmy, two street kids Pete (Evan Sheaves) and Helen (Mariel McClorey) nab the cash, and someone steals the GT.

Many of the characters in Hands have two sides, but Acko’s an exception. After he gets a call to retrieve his distinctive GT from a mechanic workshop, he drives there in a rage and runs Pete down. Acko only stops to check the damage to the borrowed car, and to move Pete’s body out of his path. As a result, the shellshocked Helen is bent on revenge. Her story isn’t as littered with humour, chase scenes, or romance as Jimmy’s. Jordan added flame effects in her eyes to symbolise her bad choices – not that she had many good choices available to start with. But he didn’t need to bother with the effects. McClorey’s eyes burned fiercely enough on their own. In contrast to Acko, Pando has a kind heart. He’s a caring father figure who makes origami with his son. He gives Alex taxi money to get home after ordering a hit on Jimmy. And he appreciates a good love song (The Reels’ version of This Guy’s In Love With You), even on the way to an execution. But Acko represents the worst part of Pando. He’s not redeemable because he killed Pete, but neither is the Australia that didn’t notice or care about Pete’s welfare. Despite this, Jordan does give him some humanity when he plays chess and Scrabble with Pando (see Acko’s gobsmacked face at Pando’s winning move).

Thanks to Hands’ focus on ephemeral objects of the 90s – Kings Cross streetscapes, now-vintage cigarette packets, house and pub décor, and telephones – the film generates a powerful sense of nostalgia when viewed today. The ensemble cast represent a 90s Australiana culture fascinated with collector cars, but on the cusp of embracing emerging technologies like the mobile phone. Les, Jimmy’s colleague, uses the mobile phone clipped on his belt to lag on Jimmy, but he hasn’t charged it for long enough. The flat battery beeps at him and incites a confused rage. He resorts to a Telstra phone booth, robbing a busker to pay for the call – but the busker exacts his revenge in style. While Jimmy pleads his innocence to Pando, Acko uses his mobile to speak with an operator and verify Jimmy’s alibi, but they can’t find the person who can attest to his story. Nowadays we’d probably quiz them via Facebook. It’s during this scene that Acko reveals it was he and Pando who killed Jimmy’s brother, fueling Jimmy’s desperate rage to escape their grip on his life.

Jordan nods to Australia’s obsession with Holden cars against Ford in the third act, when Jimmy decides to rob a bank to repay Pando. His sister-in-law, Deirdre, introduces him to nice-guy crims, Wozza and Craig. During their rendezvous at Deirdre’s mum’s house to plan the heist, Jordan shows us a suburban front yard decorated with classic Holdens: a HQ Statesman, a HT Monaro, an A9X-style LX hatch and a VL Walkinshaw. It’s clear that while characters can have good and bad traits, they can only drive one type of car. In Hands, the ‘good’ guys drive Holdens, and the bad guys drive Fords. However the robbery fails in comical style.

Police shoot at the getaway car, so the boys steal a businessman’s Toyota Celica. Ironically the Celica is selected for a $10,000 radio station cash prize and approached by the radio station’s car, a Nissan Pathfinder. By this stage Jimmy’s had it with the criminal life and takes it out on the unsuspecting radio team. He hotfoots it to Pando’s with his share of the loot to repay the debt, but he can barely contain his rage and despair over losing his brother. Both he and Helen are tempted to exact the kind of justice that the villains deserve – but that nobody benefits from dishing out. And that’s where Jordan leaves them – accepting that they each have to live with the choices they make.

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