Say Your Prayers: Killers In Film – There are plenty of iconic assassins and killers prowling through the screens, from Leon to John Wick to Hanna. But some stories twist the trope. The best Killer comedies out there show us what would happen if you crossed paths with someone who was more dumb than deadly, and the Brits do it better than most.

To celebrate the release of the new dark British comedy Say Your Prayers – about two hapless religious assassins (yes you read that right, religious assassins) – we’re taking a look at some of the best, worst killers in film. 

Whether these killers are ill-matched duos, secretly sweet loners, or just plain stupid – you better hope you meet them instead of your maker. 

Say Your Prayers (2020) – Tim and Vic 

Mistaken identity ends up being fatal when these two extremists end up assassinating the wrong man. In an unholy mix-up, Say Your Prayers follows two orphans (Harry Melling and Tom Brooke) trying to get righteousness right and kill a celebrity atheist before their mentor (Derek Jacobi on wickedly dark form) punishes them for getting the wrong man. As they wait out the consequences in a sleep English village, these struggle-brothers must contend with the hitman’s worst nightmare – curious locals.

Say Your Prayers will be released on demand 28th September

iTunes pre-order link: https://apple.co/3lKDYR3

In Bruges (2008)-  Ray and Ken 

Traumatised by a bungle on his first hitman job that sees him kill an innocent, Ray and his partner Ken take a trip to Bruges to settle his nerves and avoid the fallout. Forget cool killers, Ray spends most of this cheeky Martin McDonagh feature skating the edge of a full mental breakdown – someone give him a cuddle. 

Sightseers (2012) – Tina and Chris 

This holidaying couple are a little better than the entries so far, in that they actually get rid of the people that they mean to. The problem is, they’re only supposed to be on holiday. Alice Lowe and Steve Oram take British passive-aggression to another level as a couple that cheerfully murder anyone who bothers them on their travels through the countryside. Diss their wellingtons at your own risk. 

The Cottage (2008) – David and Peter 

All they wanted was a Ransom. After kidnapping the daughter of a Crime Boss, Tracey, brothers David and Peter (Andy Serkis and Reece Shearmsith) discover they’ve bitten off more than they can chew. Stuck in a Cottage with the surprisingly resilient and bullish Tracey, the brothers spend the film not terrorizing but being attacked in turns by her and a local farmer who makes a hobby out of killing trespassers. It’s just not their day. 

The League of Gentlemen’s Apocalypse (2005) – Tubbs and Edward

Any frequent visitors of demented sitcom village Royston Vasey know that ‘local’ corner shop killers Tubbs and Edward have a marriage built on buried outsiders. Reece Shearmsith and Steve Pemberton return as the lovey-dovey duo who ‘will have no trouble here’ for the feature film. The thing is, while they’re good at hiding bodies, they’re pretty much bad at everything else – understanding nothing and making no profit from the shop. Don’t ask them for a can of cola. 

Any frequent visitors of demented sitcom village Royston Vasey know that ‘local’ corner shop killers Tubbs and Edward have a marriage built on buried outsiders. Reece Shearmsith and Steve Pemberton return as the lovey-dovey duo who ‘will have no trouble here’ for the feature film. The thing is, while they’re good at hiding bodies, they’re pretty much bad at everything else – understanding nothing and making no profit from the shop. Don’t ask them for a can of cola. 

What we Do in the Shadows  (2014) – Vlad, Viago and Nick 

Completely undoing the hard work of Robert Pattinson to make Vampires look cool – Taika Waititi brought a fly on the wall expose to screens with a mockumentary on the world’s most docile bloodsuckers. Taika himself and Jemaine Clement are highlights (or lowlights) – bickering over dishes and getting emotional about their ancient ex-girlfriends as part of a gang of ‘deadly’ flatmates who are scared of their own shadows.  

Hot Fuzz (2007) – The Villagers 

Not many people can make Simon Pegg and Nick Frost’s chracters look capable. But that’s precisely what this gaggle of cult / serial killers locals manage when new policeman Nicholas (Pegg) gets assigned to their town to clean up the ruckus. From flower shop owners to pint pullers, this is a crowd that won’t be getting good trip advisor reviews anytime soon. 

A Serial Killer’s Guide to Life (2019) – Lou Farnt and Val Stone 

Self-help comes at a huge price when two women go on a bloody journey of self-discovery. Taken in by Val (Poppy Roe) and her doctrine that murder mends the mind, sheepish Lou (Katie Brayben) finds herself an accomplice to an ill-thought out killing spree of rival gurus. She’s more upset about her confidence issues though. 

Prevenge (2017) – Ruth

Baby Blues leave a woman’s hands red in this darkly funny twist on pregnancy hormones. Most women get food cravings, Ruth (Alice Lowe) gets murder cravings when pregnant. It may not be in medical writing but taking up a hobby of serial killing while carrying a baby is not advised. 

Mindhorn (2017) – Paul Melley 

A washed-up TV Actor is called out of retirement to take up the mantle of his serial sleuth ‘Mindhorn’. The reason? There’s a killer on the loose, one so stupid he actually thinks that the character is real. Julian Barratt is hilarious as Thorncroft, a trooper of a thespian just trying to live up to his character – and Russell Tovey is on fine demented form as the killer Clive, living out his own dream villain plot.  

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