Presume that you were to receive a random phone call claiming that someone has stolen your identity. Of course, the natural reaction to this is to question who and how and then generally feel anger of some description. To make this scenario more interesting, let’s instead presume that you are actually a financial accounts manager receiving this unfortunate phone call. How do you react now? Do you give away more of your personal details to the telephone stranger who is over-sweetly informing you that you will be placed in a protection program of some sort in exchange for these details? Many people of sound mind will hopefully vouch to say ‘of course not’, which is in fact exactly why Identity Thief is such an unrealistic film to believe in from the very beginning.

 
With experienced director Seth Gordon (Horrible Bosses, Breaking In) and comedy writer Craig Mazin (The Hangover Part II, The Hangover Part III) behind crime/comedy Identity Thief, it is unfortunate that the film falls short on what the two talents are known for: making people laugh and any puns created from the writer’s surname. Instead, Identity Thief is a long and tedious watch, with the script’s only saving grace perhaps lying in sporadic witty one-liners given by starring con-artist, Diana (Melissa McCarthy).

 
Identity Thief is the story of what happens when a sociopath steals your identity and starts splurging all your hard-earned money. In this case, the unfortunate victim of said crime is rule abiding family-man Sandy Patterson, played rather woodenly by comedy actor Jason Bateman (Arrested Development, Horrible Bosses). As you will be reminded at regular intervals throughout the film, the name Sandy is actually unisex, which surely must have been a sore point for our lead character when growing up as he becomes very defensive when asked about it.

 
The film begins with financial accounts manager Sandy naively being tricked into giving his details away to experienced identity fraudster Diana over the phone. As it stands, all sympathy for Sandy should now be diminished due to his absurd stupidity for doing this, especially given his chosen career path. We meet Diana shortly after Sandy has unknowingly signed away the contents of his bank account to her and soon discover that she is in fact an obese and over-colourfully dressed woman who appears to be stuck in the 1970’s. Due to all the money she is accumulating from her constant fraudulence, one would assume that she would perhaps update her wardrobe and hairstyle to a more current century.

 
We’re less than three minutes into the film and Diana is drunkenly asking a bar full of people if they would like to see her swing from a chandelier. As an obviously staged comedic moment, it is spoiled by the knowledge that no drunk person in any film ever successfully pulls off chandelier-swinging of any sort. Two minutes later and Diana has been kicked out of the bar, been arrested and then finishes the evening by vomiting over a policeman. This disorderly behavior would be humorous if the drunken fool vomiting inappropriately act had not been overdone so many times in the past.

 
Back with Sandy and we discover that he is a married family-man with two young daughters and another on the way. Today happens to be Sandy’s birthday and he is spending the last moments of his evening discussing financial bills with his wife, perhaps we can let this now be a further inclination towards how dull and mundane his character actually is. The next day at Sandy’s job, we further discover that his boss, Harold Cornish (John Faureau), is generally not very nice and basically sees Sandy as something on the bottom of his Tahiti-travelling shoes. Unhappy with Cornish’s treatment of his employees, co-worker John Cho (Daniel Casey) decides to lead a revolt in the underground work car-park and asks Sandy to join him and his five strong army in creating a new company, promising a hefty pay-rise and his own office in return. It is all very Fight Club style, accept we probably all know the first rule of Fight Club, so let no more be said.

All now seems to be looking promising for Sandy, until he tries to pay for gas and discovers that his card has reached its limit, prompting him to figure out about his identity theft and, despite getting the police’s involvement, go on a wild goose-chase to track down the person who has tricked him. However, the purpose of the chase is not to lead the fraudster to the police and let them do their job (as one would assume), instead it is Sandy’s intention to actually present this person to his revolt-club new manager (Cho) so that he can be cleared of his low-credit accusations and secure his new job. Nevertheless, skip forward to Sandy and Diana’s first meeting in Florida and Sandy is soon punched in the neck and nearly killed with a car by his female counterpart, therefore it is needless to say that their journey together will not be a peaceful one.

Although there are some comedic moments and jewels of humorous dialogue delivered by lead Diana, Identity Thief’s screenplay largely fails in capturing any sustained audience interest due to how very slow and tedious it becomes to watch after the first five minutes. The script itself is laden with strong-language, featuring many sexual jokes throughout which perhaps fail as a form of comedic shock-tactic due to how overused and relied upon the references are.

Alongside the main plot, Identity Thief also features a sub-plot of a bounty-hunter and a duo of thugs who are also chasing Diana due to her past miss-dealings with them. The sub-plot would be more credible in its contribution to the main story if more time were spent mapping the characters out and explaining their motives, however, the characters featured within the sub-plot ultimately only seem to serve the purpose to showcase a few finely choreographed action car-chase scenes that are in fact very predictable to watch.

As a whole, the character’s featured within the film are all very one-dimensional in personality and qualities, making it very difficult for any character arcs to be believable to an audience. Fraudster Diana has no redeeming qualities to make her a sympathetic antagonist to the audience, in fact, any humanistic and empathetic characteristics displayed by Diana are all overshadowed by how unrealistic it is to believe that a fraudster of that degree can simply change her morals so quickly, yet be able to pathologically lie so easily. As a main character, Sandy is disappointingly dreary and, regardless of spending a large amount of time with an unpredictable sociopath, does not seem to acquire any signs of a metaphorical backbone throughout.

However, despite Identity Thief being the typical story of moralistic rule-abider meets crass risk-taker, the relationship and small-talk between leads Sandy and Diana is at times humorous to watch, particularly within the more stagnant car travelling scenes where the chemistry between the two actors really can be exploited for how naturally it flows. Moreover, the acting given by the supporting cast members is neither bad or exceptional, however is simply what would be expected from your regular dose of a comedy feature.

Identity Thief also features a varied and lively soundtrack delivered by Christopher Lennertz (Horrible Bosses, Supernatural). The mix of modern music juxtaposed with classical music helps to create a nice antithesis in moods and atmospherics, allowing some of the more crass scenes to become more humorous due to a purposely unsuited underscore of soft piano.

Despite the proven credibility of the cast and crew behind it, Identity Thief does in fact fail in stealing many laughs from the audience. Although it has a few witty one-liners, they are few and far between and are unfortunately not worth the two hour viewing experience.

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