8/ CLONE WARS. 2008. DIR: DAVE FILONI.

I bet you forgot this little misstep existed. I certainly did for a bit. The Clone Wars are in full effect. Obi-Wan has been promoted to general and Anakin is given a Padawan learner. Anakin works on his skills as a Jedi and a master to his pupil, but soon finds himself in over his head. Count Dooku is plotting again and Anakin finds himself in the service of a very different threat, Jabba the Hutt.

I really did not care for this one. It was apparently the first few episodes of the Clone Wars animated-television series, but were spliced together and delivered to the big screen at the last minute. It explains the awful animation. It would also explain why the story feels messy and unfinished. I honestly found this a pretty disgusting move by the studios. It feels like fan exploitation, having them pay to see something that should have just been available from home.

Treating it like a pilot to a show it still fails. I am not interested by this story or these characters at all. The main goal is to demonstrate what a great hero and role-model Anakin was. I guess that’s admirable, until you remember that he is a child killer in the next chronological instalment. It doesn’t help that the new characters are just as blank as those returning from the Prequel Trilogy. That has been the recurring problem with the Star Wars prequels – I couldn’t care less about them. Say what you will about Jar Jar Binks, he made me feel something about him – even if it was blind, murderous rage.

The film is a demonstration into what didn’t work about Star Wars for a while. But it’s main fault is just how forgettable it is. The story was disjointed – due to it literally being a few stories mixed into one – and the animation was pants, and the characters and music and action were sleep inducing. But those criticisms are for naught when you can’t even remember it existed. A shameless cash grab if I ever saw one. Thankfully not many wasted their time on it.